MAH PAGE >3<

<3

2008-08-18T13:56:52Z

I did arts four my gurl and I's eight monthaversary <3

Im sick D:

2008-05-30T12:19:35Z

santiago_s_l @ 2008-05-11T18:41:00

2008-05-11T23:50:16Z

My mother in law went to get the tickets last week
which means they might be leaving soon.
....
My dad offered to get danny some vaccines she might need
which are a lot cheaper here
My father in law said that danny should get the shots before leaving
but both shots need six months in between em to work...
but also, my mom in law want to leave as soon as summer is here

Danny told me all of this yesterday
which she shouldnt have
because now I cant help to have some sort of hope that we'll hold out till december

december...

fuckin month is gonnna leave some sort of trauma, I swear
if it werent for the presents.... xD

but now I know its gonna hurt even more if she leaves in summer
but...
she said she was willing to hold out....
long distance.

In a year from now, I'll graduate and I'll move in with my uncle at jersey
she'll be leaving at washington with her parents...
so If we hold we may be together...
I found hope again. A hope I didnt want. And still dont want
I feel Im gonna end up hurt again but....
I cant break up with her...
I dont want to see her crying again...

Im too weak for this

if anyone out there still reads this shit...
help, please....?

..:://+||LiFe uPdAtE|+|bReAkUp|+|GroUnDeD||+\\::..

2008-04-26T14:21:14Z

Been a while since I updated this shit last... prolly no one reads these anymore but I just wanna let this out...

My social life has been amazing. Im hangin out every weekend with my friends and Im having a lot of fun lately. My musician life isnt so bad either. Went on a tour for thursday and friday kinda sorta. Played in a couple of schools and I had lots of fun. Met some new cool people and tried to get drunk but failed. Gave up at 1 am and gave my last beer to Raul. My host's name was Virginia.... stayed the night at her place. I went with her to her.... play thing practice. She was doing a Moulin Rouge dance with her classmates...

she was all

"HOWS MY SEX FACE?? SHOULD I MOVE MY TOUNGE MORE??"

I lol'ed. Had too much fun lol

My love life aint going that great tho. After Danny's BDay party on March, I got wise she's leaving for the States on June. Ive been trying to let go bit by bit ever since, and maybe I did it too fast. I started planning the breakup not so long ago. Decided to tell her today during the course of the week... but yesterday she got in a dumb arguement with her mom and shit happened.

For getting home

half hour late....

AT 8:30 PM FOR GODS SAKE.

Her mom is extremely over protective. She told her to be home at 8, but she went to have dinner with a couple of friends at 7. The food took too long tho and she got her lasagna an hour and a half later. Her mom called her all mad and shit and started yelling w/out letting Danny say a word. She got very emotional and her bestfriend took her cel and tried to calm her mom down. Didnt work tho, and the bitch grounded her for a month

A MONTH

She wont be able to go out and her cel was taken away. Its unbelievable. She treats her like a baby... its so fucking annoying >_< So last night I called her and found this out... I had never heard her cry so much. I was so damn mad... still are, but I calmed down. Its more like anguish... called Karen and she explained every detail... and I took it out on her lol. Of course, I started insulting the bitch and mom heard me. Gave me a sermon and took away my cel as well.... I had time to get my SIM back tho so its fine... kinda sorta.

I cant break up with her now. She needs her friends. She needs me. Her mom is driving her crazy... we'll be meeting up behind her back at Karen's house, or at least Karen offered us the chance... I'll say Im in reinforcements at school till 5, and shell say she's gotta go to Karen's to do a uge project. I dont know if Im still in love... but Im still her boyfriend its my duty to support her until all this shit is over. I'll prolly stay with her till June and just take the blow.

I still want to make her happy till the last moment... Maybe theres still some love in there, so Im gonna try to lit the fire again. We had planned to watch a ver, VERY mushy movie today. I dont know if I can be so optimistic... but Im really hoping she wont be grounded for so long. I want to hold her hand again... I feel so guilty now for even thinking about cutting it off... ugh... gah Im so confused. I need a hug .______. I need my Chicken... my Locky... Momochito...

I'll update videos of the tour later....

but for now, I'll be heading back to my grave

kthnx

Tag D:

2008-02-02T14:01:04Z

YOU:
[ name ]: Santiago Sanchez
[ nicknames ]: Santi, Emokid, Brownie :3
[ screen name ]: santiago-s-l
[ birthday ]: 0ctober 22, 1991
[ born in]: A hospital? :3
[ age ]: 16
[ eye color ]: honeyish... brown o.o
[ height ]: 5,8 and still growing :3
[ weight ] : 169 Dx
[ nationality ]: Colombian
[ astrological sign ]: Liber
[ location ]: mah haus michey mouse... :]
[ siblings ]: a younger bro <3
[ pets ]: Pistachoooooo OwO;;
[ in the morning i`m ]: sleepy andkindahorneh lol
[ all i need is ]: my fwends my gf and mah music <3
[ love is ]: Pizza <333
[ if i could see one person right now it would be]: Dannay D:
[ i`m afraid of ]: the dark and bering lonely or hated ._.
[ i dream about ]: The Fat Thing running after me DDDDx

HAVE YOU EVER?
[ pictured your crush naked? ]: maybe >w>
[ used someone? ]: I do constantly -___- not with sex kinda stuff tho, its like schoolwork n shit
[ been used? ]: I dont think so o.o
[ been cheated on? ]: uh huh >__>
[ been kissed? ]: x3 squee
[ done something you regret? ]: Too many things to list

FAVORITE
[ food? ]: cseafood OwO japaneseeeeeeeeeee >w<
[ fruit? ]: kiwi <3 and plums OwO
[ candy? ]: REESES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11113w4e6at8u08u0wfebidsg!!!!! <33333333333:HEART:333
[ color? ]: Dark blue, orange and neon green.... and blood red lolbbq
[ number? ]: 9
[ animal? ]: Doggies <3
[ drink? ]: Dr Pepper owo
[ soda? ]: DR PEPPER D:
[ book? ]: Red April
[ room? ]: Mah music room <3
[ movie? ]: Ratatouille X3 and the Butterfly Effect :3
[ have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ]: <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333etc
[ like cleaning? ]: No D:
[ have a tattoo? ]: No DDD:
[ have any piercings]: I wish I did DDDDDx

ARE YOU?
[ obsessive? ]: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
[ able to live without the computer? ]: yeah unless Im bored the shit outta me lawl
[ bored? ]: Im at the computer... Im SUPPOSSED to be bored lmao
[ happy? ]: OwO;;;
[ missing someone? ]: ;____; uh huh <3
[ confused? ]: *shakes head*
[ tired? ]: Sleepy D:
[ mad? ]: not really o.o
[ sleepy? ]: X3 cha

DO YOU EVER?
[ stay on waiting for someone special to IM you? ]: No lol I'd rather call her.... but I have no minutes D:
[ save msn conversations? ]: THEY SAVE THEMSELVES ASDFGHJKL;;;;;;;
[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ]: Boobies OwO;;; lol jk
[ cheat on tests/homework? ]: not.. anymore?
[ drink/smoke? ]: Drink. Smoking ish fugly D:
[ swear a lot? ]:I never fucking swear D:
[ like watching sunrises or sunset? ]: They're only cute if I watch em with a certain somewun
[ pray? ]: Atheist
[ go to church? ]: Read previous question plz xD
[ have secrets? ]: >w> thats a secret
[ have a best friend? ]: 4 <3
[ like your own handwriting?]: Its so fucking amazing and you're so not worth showing it to <3 ahaha :]

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON WHO?
[ you talked to on the phone? ]: Talked, not scolded? that would be Danny two nights ago
[ you hugged? ]: Danny <3
[ you instant messaged? ]: Danny xD
[ instant messaged you? ]: Danny? o.o;
[ sent you an e-mail? ]: Some fat guy trying to get to me to rape me DDDDx Idontrememberlol
[ you laughed with? ]: Mom
[ slept in your bed? ]: Me :]
[ you shared a drink with? ]: I dont share my drinks >:[
[ you went to the movies with? ]: watched Bratz last night with Daniela lol.... oof xDD;;
[ yelled at you? ]: Dad .__.
[ you called? ]: Danny
[ you kicked? ]: Jose :]
[ you saw? ]: David going into the bathroom to take a bath o.o

WHO IS?
[ the most handsome person you know? ]: Men are handsome. Women are beautiful. Danny is a woman. And Danny ish beewtiful. See how the equation goes? owo
[ the weirdest person you know? ]: Myself o.o
[ the funniest person you know? ]: Jose xD
[ the loudest person you know? ]: KAREN ASDFGHJKL;;
[ the quietest person you know? ]: Andrea D:
[ the sweetest person you know? ]: Danny cuz she knows how to make me melt lol <3
[ the most serious person you know? ]: My brother lol
[ your best friend? ]: Jose, Raul, Mr. Bassist and mah Danny <333333333
[ the person you hate the most? ]: I dont really hate people xD
[ the person you see most? ]: WHOS THAT HOTTIE BEHIND THE MIRROR asdfghjkl;;;

WHAT IS?
[ the first thing you thought of when you woke up ]: ugh @o@ *drool* HAI MOM
[ song that describes you? ]: Feeling This by blink 182 and I feel so by Boxcar Racer are my fucking anthems <333
[ your best feature? ]: Im able to shut up and listen :3
[ missed memories.. ]: I'll never get over my fwends in spain lol... >___<;;

IN THE FUTURE
[ what is the age you hope to get married? ]: Marriage is the most expensive way to fuck up a nice relationship :] lol jk ummm 20something? xD
[ number and names of kids? ]: one and a dog :3
[ where do you see yourself at age 20? ]: College <333
[ describe your dream wedding? ]: At a beach during a sunset with only my best friends and most loved relatives
[ when and how do you want to die? ]: During my sleep, at an old age, after I was able to see my grandchildren grow up and I accomplished my dreams
[ what are you career plans? ]: Lawschool... or maybe Graphical Design
[ someplace youd like to visit? ]: Japan or Hawaii... but I'd love to live in New Zealand <3

LAST TIME
[ last time you went out of state? ]: I do constantly... maybe once or twice a month xD
[ last time you were outside? ]: Yesterday wif Danny and some fwends
[ last time you had a snowball fight? ]: When I visited the US kinda sorta on December...
[ last time you were listening to music? ]: Two days ago o_o;;

OTHER
[ how many pplsz are on your buddylist? ]: *shrug* unno
[ what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ]: emotional .______________.
[ have you felt this recently? ]: Two nights ago...
[ what do you wear to bed? ]: Just my boxxorz >W>
[ when's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? ]: Last night xD
[ have you ever played ouija board? ]: *curls up in a ball* nuuu creepy ;_____;
[ how many rings before you pick up the phone? ]: three xD
[ how many schools have you gone to? ]: 2... and a KinderGarden

Thats all??

NO SEX QUESTIONS???

GIMME BACK MY MONEY

lol thats all for now :3 If you didnt enjoy reading, I couldnt fucking care less <33

..:://+||My World||+\\::..

2008-01-19T14:36:55Z

Because sometimes
I wish you were there for me
you were here to hold me
when I cant breath

And sometimes
I wish I could mute
The yelling downstairs
I cant take it anymore

I just dont wanna be alone

I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel
but my wounds still bleed...

And sometimes
I wish the lies would stop
All the angels would come
and take this pain away

But then I
realize
that all the angels are gone

And all that
is left for me
in this bleeding world
is you

I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel

I dont want to cry
but tears keep falling
I want to hold you
I want to find you
But my wouds still bleed...

Sometimes
I wish I had
a way to make you smile
And I
pray so you
wont leave me alone

In this world
with no angles left
yelling parents
hungry children and war

My bleeding world
of hungry children and war

I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel

I dont want to cry
but tears keep falling
I want to hold you
I want to find you

I wanna make you smile
but I cant find a way
Please come and hold me
take this pain away

Because my wounds still bleed
my wounds still bleed
Will you help them heal?
Please help them heal...

This is something extremely personal... it might become a song. Im getting the grip of song writing...god bless my piano lul. I was just feeling like hating everyone at the time, but then I heard Danny's voice and it calmed me down. Nevertheless, when I was feeling better I thought the lyrics had some kind of strenght... so I decided not to shred the paper. Im glad I didnt... well with that IM off. Everyone, have a nice weekend

..:://+||Yesterday|+|Preassure|+|Just an update||+\\::..

2008-01-17T02:41:59Z

yesterday school started. The band is having heavy problems because of mr bassist.... wont mention why here, but nya >.o the mood hasnt been very good for the past two days... jose and bassit almost left the band... I convinced them otherwise tho... but jose still wants to kick bassist's ass .____. nya

yesterday Danny and I met for the first time in a month. When she opened the door she just pounced me and we hugged really tight and we got mushy X3 I spend the afternoon at her place and we had funnnn X3 we have a very long walk and sat at her condo's clubhouse and snuggled for a bit and updated eachother.... loool sooo many gossips <333

after mom called me about nine saying that I had to go home cuz of school, we exchanged xmas presents. She gave me an awesome black shirt <3333 and I gave her a plushie and a silver necklace... and some candy I got everyone from the US XDDD I love my shirt. Its so fuken awesome...

and nya X33 on friday Im going to her friend's house to watch a movie... we isa gonna have fun @wo we're gonna watch bratz (dont ask xDD) and a horror movie... and Ima make apple pie for everyone <333 and on the 31st we play again at school... this time in front of the students. Im as excited as Im nervous/scared xDDD

well thats it for now... I dont get on a lot anymore so I just HAD to update this place xDD no one cares tho. But it makes me calm... cuz hard times are comingz, and I have to be prepared for the worst... I un want Sketch to dieee DDDx

Santay, out <3

..:://+||2007-2008|+|NeW YEaR TaG||+\\::..

2008-01-01T16:00:44Z

So the year is gone :3 tis my first chance to write a journal since Im at the US....
cuz I mostly talk with Danny when I get on a computer >__> <w< anyway. Im having a lot of fun... I was at Disney for xmas and and and owO;; there were fireworks and shit and it was really awesummmm X333
and since the 28th IM staying.... at the east coast? havent slept at the same place twice.
Well, just at my uncle's the first two nights xD
I've beeen at a couple of places.... and at the moment IM at Pennsilvania

I MAY BE ABLE TO GO TO A HOT TOPIC!!!!!11111 *uberwag* OwO;;;

Danny and I are missing eachother like crazy >.< we've been talking every night for the past three days (when I was at disney I called her cuz I didnt have any way of getting online) and we've been getting verah mushy lul. but this time distance doesnt hurt so much cuz in a few days we'll be together again X3333

Now that I think of... in two days Jacky and I would have met. wow. Its been 8 months since may the 5th o.o
time goes really fast. This was like.... the fastest year ever
cuz a lot of stuff happened.... lemme make a list >x>

2007 STUFF (in chronological order :3)

- Got backstabbed by my best friends and didnt hang out with em no moar >:E
- I met Mateo and we were inseparable :3 (that was on december 2006 tho but who the fuck cares xD)
- Mateo left school in March and I was left alone ;__;
- I found out I had a crush on Tina :3
- My doggy Puffy dies out of a liver infection
- In may I met Jacklynn Gapzcynski and we hooked up a day after meeting
- We buy Pistacho, and soon after that my dad went back home after having his own apartment for 2 years
- In summer vacations I started to feel I was bi >.>
- When we went back to school a new kid came >x> Raul. He's important to the story lol
- Starting October the 14th Jacky and I stopped talking. Anxiety attack for me :3
- Last weekend of october we watch a movie and have some fun. The following weekend we break up
- We agreed to stay as friends.... but I think she blocked me from msn >x>
- In november I join a band Raul created... they were lacking a drummer X3
- I get along with bassist guy and we become best friends :3
- I make a myspace account and I meet Danny over the internet
- I... get out of the closet? lolbbq
- People didnt give a shit tho cuz IM loved at school x3 cept for Mauricio and Pineda fucking assholes >:E
- Tina starts hitting on me... but I refuse cuz even if Im crushing on her, she's the partying type and I un like it >.>
- We get invited to the North Coast to a Battle of the Bands. We get UNinvited cuz we didnt send our demo in time XD
- I find out Danny is friends with Mateo (coincidence? ITS FUCKING FATE LOL) and he helps me out :3
- On December 18th Danny and I start dating, and on the 19th we officially hook up X33
- On the 23rd Ieave to the US... and har I am D:

It was an interesting year lol... lost two important peopleifsocalled to me.... my first mate and my doggy Dx but also good things happened.... band, Pistacho, dad coming back and meeting Danny X333

so only one thing is left to say...

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!

...hokay the Journal ends up thar 9.9 but now I wanna do a tag I stoleded from Jacklynn :3

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Got my furst and second mate... kissed someone :3 AND AND AND I unno xD joined a band O-o Im so not interesting lol

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make any years resolutions that I can remember... but my resolutions for this year are to become a better drummer and a better mate X33

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A computers teacher o.o

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Puffy ;___;

5. What countries did you visit?
Just the US

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Someone to hug me when IM sad.... and to kisss me when IM happy. Ugh IM so mushy <3

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My first kiss. It was so fucking magical. It was on a bridge at her condo place under the moonlight with all the Christmas lights... and it was like a movie lol. X333 squee after that we hooked up. We're so amazing duuuuuuude

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I became more social... and I also learned to treat women thanks to Jacky O: but the best thing of all was being able to meet Danny X3

9. What was your biggest failure?
>.> I didnt get to meet Jacklynn
and we got Uninvited to the Battle of the Bands DDx

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Do my braces count lol

11. What was the best thing you bought?
IM GETTING MY DRUMKIT TOMORROW LOLBBQ
and I bought a Make your own Lightsaber kit at Disney X33

but the best thing was probably my DS and the R4 :3

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Jose who is or was a huge homophobe decided to stay in the band cuz we were great friends before he found out I was bi
Maybe its cuz Im not THAT girly...

>w>

<w<

...or maybe its cuz I told him he wasnt my type :3

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Jacky was WAY too unstable... and it made me sad >.>

14. Where did most of your money go?
it all got saved up for my drumkit tomorrow oxO;;
the DS/R4 broke me at the beggining of the year tho xDD

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
THE BANDDDD <3333333 its a dream come true

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
...
Smother me by the Used.
I... cant listen to it anymore lol. I erased it from all my playlists >__>

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier lol a lot more
thinner or fatter? prolly fatter xDD
richer or poorer? ...richer lol

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
maybe partying at a time... but dont regret it anymore lol. Its just not my thing

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I was for too long in front of a computer... it became an addiction. After Jacky broke up with me, that stopped tho, so IM spending moar time wif my friends as of now :3

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I was at Disney X333 it was SO epic with the fireworks and shit. I regret not being with Danny tho >.< maybe next year... cuz IM willing to make this last a year or more :3

21. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
I chatted with Danny al night and had a toast (spelling?) wif her (over the internets) and my family and we watched the Time Square ball thing X3... champaigne was really good.... and my dad and uncle got drunk and I poked them to tease :3 then we listened to music till 2 am and we went to bed x3

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
With Jacklynn Gapzcynski (sp? xDD) and I think IM starting to fall in l Danny, but IM being kinda cautious >.>;;

23. How many one-night stands?
*coughcough* virgin *coughcough*

24. What was your favorite TV program?
House / Law and Order / Im starting to watch Spongebob a lot... thanks to Danny xD

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Mauricio 'n Pineda >:E

26. What was the best book you read?
Im still reading Love Walked In and out of the books I read its the one I like the most... it cool. They fall in love, the guy dies horribly and she's left with a child from his previous marriage :3

...he died by the time Jacky and I broke up. THat book's my anti-drug >x>

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Used thanks to Jacky and Ashley... and Weezer thanks to bassist guy :3

28. What did you want and get?
A girlfriend who would love me back... I got two of em X3
and the drumkit lol which IM getting tomorrow :3

29. What did you want and not get?
I didnt meet up with Jacky... but thats about it. I pretty much got everything I wanted... ugh IM such a spoiled child wannabe <33

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Surfs Up, Silent Hill and I dont think I watched a lot of movies this year XDD

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was at hospital all day cuz I fainted because of my hypoglicemia in the morning 83

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
WHY DID THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS AND THE MCR CONCERT HAVE TO GET CANCELLED?!?!?\

WHY GOD WHY IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BITCH *TOSSES TABLE*

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
moar black lol. And I started using Jackets... a lot :3 thats about it

34. What kept you sane?
Music

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
OwO Gerard way...

and the guy from 30 Seconds to Mars... unno his name. But ugh his hair is gasmic <3333 Ima dye it like that when I go back home

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I couldnt care less about politics lol

37. Who did you miss?
Mah Bunny ... and Danny as of now, like crazy ;_; cant wait to see her again...

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Bassist guy, Raul... and Danny X33

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Dont give out your heart to anyone... cuz they might break it and then step on it :3

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Shrink the World - Yellowcard
If I could then
I'd shrink the world tonight
So that I would find you and me inside
Of the last good scene
A film that changes things
Breaks us, makes us sing
Leaves us wondering

kk lol thats about it... I'll post again when I get abck home... or maybe to post some pics of the drumkit when I get it X3

until then, cya guys later :3

..:://+||Danny's Pizza||+\\::..

2007-12-22T17:20:45Z

As of wednesday Daniela is my girlfriend. On tuesday I was like nya, lets give this a chance. And before I left, she said it would be great if I could come the next night to her place. And so I did. Eliana, Danny and me hanged out around her condo talking about stuff. We held hands almost all the time and it felt great. At about 10pm Eliana had to go so we were left alone... we sat down and she clinged to me. I felt kinda bad but it started to fade and we kinde cuddled there for a bit. We stood up and went to this little bridge nearby, staring at the christmas lights... and out of nowhere we kissed.

Mwahaha. It was so magical and epic lol. We cuddled there 'til it got too cold outside so we went back to her place and watched some tv with her mom. At about 11 dad picked me up. The next day I invited her to my place and we hanged out there for a while... snuggling in the couch while we watched Dr. House :3 and yesterday we spent the day with Karen and Mr Bassist playing Mario Kart and Mario Party X3 I lost tho lol

Yesterday we were talking on the phone... and I unno. I said I love you... in english XDD unno why. And to my surprise she said I love you too, also in english... and she squeed. And I giggled X3 I luff her so much. She's totally like me. She's all cute and tomboyish... and she makes me feel really special...

We're both really sad about me leaving today... we're having our Christmas lunch together today at an Italian place I love and we're exchanging presents when I come back. And I start thinking. Its Bunny's fault I have to leave to the US for so long lol. Unno. Ever since we broke up, things have been looking up to me... I found really good friends, I made my dream of being in a band come true and I found someone who loves me back... it was hard back then, but now I kinda feel grateful about her letting me go...

I really love Daniela but Im still kinda keeping a little distance. Because After shit happened I learned that you cant give your heart out freely. I enjoy her company and have a really good time with her. She lets me love her and loves me in exchange. But I havent deeply fallen in love as I did with Jacklynn and I dont intend to. I dont want to be hurt again... but I want this to last, because shes just. So damn perfect hehe. Im happy... Right now everything in my life is as perfect as it could get...

One hour left for lunch. I should go get ready... so cya all next year X3

..:://+|DaTe|+\\::..

2007-12-19T13:43:44Z

mwahahaha. It went so perfect it was almost scary. I picked her up about 10 to 4... I went to her house and she was like hi :3 and she introduced me to her mom and her dad.... on messenger lawl. The we took a ride to the mall... and I was "shit Danny I forgot to say hi to Eliana lol" and she was like lol how mean cuz Eli is Danny's neighbour.... anywho. We went to the mall to get a soda and she met with her aunt.... who called her mom to say her girl was going out wit a dangerous guy.

Cuz we were both wearing our emo outfit :3 all black n shit x3 and then we went to the movie cuz we were lateeee DDDx but we got there just in time. We watched Bee Movie :3 and about half of the movie we started getting really close and poking eachother rubbing arms lol and we ended up holding hands.... and when we did we almost spilled all of the popcorn and we lol'ed X333 It felt like. Unno. I held her hand really tightly and she held mine... and I felt so happy. Like... I never thought I would be able to feel like that again....

after that, we realized we forgot about the popcorn lol... so when the movie was over we just sat outside talking and eating popcorn. And we talked for about two hours lol... I laughed so much at stuff... then we walked to her place and I stayed there for a bit. We layed on her bed watching TV for a while and lol'ing at a teen sex book her grampa gave her till my dad had to pick me up :3

Tomorrow Im going to her place for an Xmas thingy. I unno. I haven't stopped thinking about her. About how bad I wanna feel her fingers entwining with mine... how bad I wanna tuck her into my chest and hold her forever... It really does feel better in real life than when you type it...

ugh shit. I dont wanna fall in love again lol... I wonder what will happen next x3

..:://+|Lets just be FRIENDS|+|Carrols|+|Killing your parents|+\\::..

2007-12-17T14:03:37Z

...worst phrase ever. It gives me the chills. So yeah. Melo got me out of the picture las weekend... so awesome. But my emo girl made me feel better... we talked all weekend lol and since she also speaks english... it reminded me a lot, like a LOT of my Bunny xDD;; but the thing is... she asked me out... on tuesday.

I was like o.O okay :3 so I told her how about a movie and and then we go to an italians? and she sounded pretty excited lol... and I fucking squeed. And she fucking squeed. I was like o__o she squees lol. Unno... right now I dont have feelings for her... but lets try and see what happens :3

I woke up today at 8 in the morning... had a bath and put on some cute black clothing :3 cuz my emo girl is coming to see us play xmas carrols at the mall >w< I dont think Melo will be coming... I think she's mad at me and I unno why. Maybe its cuz I've spent too much time hangin out with my emo girl... unno. If she's the jealous type, she can rot ^w^ but Im actually... kinda excited Daniela is coming to see me play :3 she coming wif Karen thooo DDx I love her but shes just too noisy. And she knows I find it annoying... so she's extra noisy around me xDD she was the wun who told me Daniela had a crush on me >.>;; gossipers <33

yesterday I almost killed my parents D: I was suppossed to drive from my grampa's place... and its like. Tilted. The road lol. And I pushed down the handbreak and the car started rolling forward... downward lol and there was another car and I was like WHAT THE FUCK DADDY HELP LOL cuz I stepped on the break and nothing happened... and it seems that since the car is electronic, the break dies if the car is turned off xDD

unno lol. Im excited about tuesday's date. Cuz she's really funny... and so friggin beautiful lol. I dont get how could she fall for someone as ugly as meeee DDDx but oh well x3 we isa gonna watch the bee movie lawl. I'll keep you tuned about what happens <w<;;...

SANTAY OUT

..::Vacations::..

2007-12-15T13:57:29Z

<rant>

excuse the spanish...

ugh... lastnight I screwed up with her and now I hate myself... why do I have to be so shy... we were like watching this horror movie about dolls ad shit... and everyone in the room was trying to get us together... and we both got angry sooner or later... and like, we were on the floor and they were on the bed and they were pushing us towards eachother wiith their foots... and whispering and shit ES MI IJUEPUTA VIDA MKAY YO VERE SI KIERO O NO ugh I screwed up... I hope shes not mad at me... Karen talked to both of us, and she told me she said the same thing I did. We were ubershy lol... Im not usually like that but when you like someone you just act dumb around them... I hope she gets online today .__.

y la chiva... la ijueputa chiva. ugh. no hice un culo en esa mierda... malparido mateo me dejo botao para tumbarse unas viejas... wice todobn pk igual tiene novia y yo k puedo hacer pero ah k joda... Im not even the flirting type and the fucker was dancing and smoking and having beer after beer... y yo de guevon tome aunke le prometi a mi mama k no y me siento como un pedazo de mierda... but when I got home even after mom noticed, she didnt say anything cuz she just told me I had to live the experience, but knowing me she knew I wouldnt enjoy that ride. And the fucker got the cellnumber from 11 chicks, and I was like dude. They were fucking drunk, ya no van a saber ud kien es al otro dia, retrasado mental.

gonorrea chiva... no vuelvo por alla... I was sitting in the corner of the bus and andres was like dude wtf is wrong, and I told him it wasnt my thing... 'least he got it and sat down with me for a bit and we talked. And mateo made me dance with this chick and I was like fuck you man .__. dont give me your leftover, I fucking have pride >__>;; y hablando de maricadas y yo bailandole como un pendejo menos mal k el ijueputa volvio rapidito a levantarse a la perrita esa...

I unno... movie night was kinda fun even if I got nervous. But ugh the chiva was umm... well it blowed. Im not the partying type, and just.... I hope he never invites me to one of those >__> ever. again.

</rant>

ugh... I want my emo girl har wif me... *hugs stuffed dog toy*

FINALS PROGRESS day1

2007-12-11T20:37:38Z

o-o they were

SO FRIGGIN EASY LOL

Physics was really short and chem was simple.... long tho. But Im sure I passed wif a nice grade

But ugh Andres aka Wice aka Bassist is grounded... and Eliana's dad is gonna visit her from tomorrow till january... he lives in the US x.o and she prolly wont be able to go out... meh she has my number so she'll call me if something pops up... at least she fixed internet. We webcammed today lol and it was fun. I still wanted to hang out but meh... I'll have to wait. Im leaving for the US sometime next week anyway so blah xD

Melo isa sickies DDDx she hasnt been online... and Im bored. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day... I have the Philosophy exam and the Spanish wun... and after that we gotta stay at school to practice the xmas carrols for monday till 2:30 when we leave for the recording place at the other side of town to get the demo for the song we isa gonna send to the Battle of the Bands application...

ughhhh too many things to do

I should go study or something

so byebye lol

..:://+||CoNcErT|+|FiNaLs|+|HaSh||+\\::..

2007-12-11T02:54:46Z

Theres a house concert on saturday. Metal bands are playing and it sounds like fun. Im prolly going with Eliana, but she isnt sure if shes gonna like it xDDD so if its a blow, I guess we'll go eat something or watch a movie. Its at the wall

The Wall

I fucking dream of performing there someday. When I do, I could die happily. Unless I were still a virgin DD:

Finals start tomorrow. Today Tina, Raul, Mr Bassist, Jose, David and a few more people lol were at my place studying. I think I'll do good at chem, but not at physics DDDx I had a recuperation test toda and it was so hard I just gave up halfway lol. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day... but after that, the upcoming exams are easy. Cept for philosophy, that is.

Im not that concerned tho. Im doing allright so blah. Havent heard from Melissa this week. I wonder if I should call her to see how's she doing. Oh well.

On saturday I went out with mr. bassist and we smoked arabian hash. It tasted funny xDD but it was fun. We had that and some wine :3 3 dollars for a fucking cup DDx and were like dudeeee D: but it tasted like heaven.... he's gonna take apple flavored coal for the next time we go thar :3 but I was like cool, its not tobacco. Or so told me the bastard. It turns out it does have tobacco in it DDDDx its been a while since I smoked lol. I hated it. But I liked this one :3 thanks god its expensive as hell, otherwise I'd be in trouble cuz I loved it xDDD

and ugh I have to practice a lot for monday. Those carrolls are really fucking hard to play. Jose even backed out because its too much for him x.o I have to learn 7 songs in 3 days cuz this week I dont have the time... ugh. Unno

Eliana's internet is being a bitch, so ima try to help her out

cya guys later

..:://+||MeLiSsA|+|tHe 17th|+|HaIrDyE||+\\::..

2007-12-09T17:25:08Z

As of recently I gave up wif Tina. So IM trying to keep my distance. I really like her, but she's the partying type and Im sure we would get bored kinda quickly. So I'll always be busy on weekends when she asks... lawl. Oh well. I just like calmer wuns. Like mah date @w@ she got sick thooooo. We were going out on friday but like ugh DAMN YOU COLD DAMN YOU TO HELL WHY GOD WHY *tosses table*

So I stayed home and I was at hi5, yes? :3 this kinda spanish myspace. And I met this chick and we were on msn till 1 in the morning lol she had to go thooo D: cuz parents were bitching. And shes like so prittay <33 n shit. And she lives just a few blocks away. And shes an antisocial, antiparty, gamer rocker/goth/emo :D SOULMATE I SAY And yesterday I was talking to dad, and it turns out her dad is one of my dad's best friends :D so I invited her to hang out at the mall on the 17th... cuz...

WE'RE

PLAYING

ON THE MALL

ON THE 17th

FUCKING XMAS CARROLS DDDDDDDDx

JAAAAAAAA DDx cuz since we're currently using the school's drumkit to practice every week, we have to follow orders n shit... so they made us play with the school's choir (ew preppy children singing) at the mall on the 17... ugh. Its gonna suck sooooo bad ;___; in any case. I'll prolly invite her to an ice cream or sumthing after that <33 mah Melissaaaaaaa lul WHY DO I FEEL MR BASSIST IS HITTING ON ME?!? I told him like, joking he wasnt my type and he got sad lol. NYA. MELISSA LOL. I WANT MY MELISSA yshd9fu9s8duf0

Im gonna dye my hair next fridaayyyy and prolly cut it a bit :3 Ima dye light strands on the front like my fursona and the rest of it black. Im gonna look so emo D: Ima lurve it loool and when dad buys Vanessa for me (ima get her bloodred mwahahaha I love it. An orgasmic Maxtoneeee <333) Ima look like.... the guy. That guy. I WANNA LOOK LIKE THE GUYYYY the vocalist from 30 secs to mars D: HES SO HAWT n shit so I'll either get a fursona hairdye or a thatguy hairdye (black, red on the tips)

thats all for now kthnx so Ima go hardcore clotheshopping

santi isa happayyyy lol <333

..:://+|cH335eC4ke|+\\::..

2007-12-02T13:41:19Z

I've been hangin out a lot lately >w> on friday peoplez came home to play teh wii. We had pork stuffings, pizza, pepsi, sprite and coffee for dinner xDD my tummy hurts lawl and on saturday I went out with mr. Bassist... he came home and he took over my comp (DDDDDD:) and started downloading music...

FLYLEAF. WHERE WERE YOU ALL MY LIFE asfkhgijoig;;;

and liek lol unno I had fun. Havent wrote a nice song tho lol... everytime we try, either one of us starts doing something else >___>;; MY SONG LOL. We've got the lyrics. GET THE FUCKING MUSIC LOL I wish I played the guitar. Raul taught me some on friday but its too hard DDx

I would post the lyrics but a little someone would get mad at me X]

HOT PICTURES YESNO

They're from thursday night when we had to play at school for Thanksgiving... there were just like 8 pics, and those two were the only ones I looked allright... the one at the bottom is a pic of the whole band owo we had fuuunnn the video is ready to upload, so I'll post it on youtube when I have some time

Lol. I was all high that night. I was laying on the grass looking up and I was like "Dude. Look at those clouds. Whoooaaaaa. Where are the stars? loooool" and they say that air gets me high xDD Bassist said that when I have pot he HAS to be there to laugh at me >__>;; punched him :]

TINA owO;;

I noticed something. For the last month, she asks me every friday what am I gonna do in the weekend... I have been busy thooo DDDx and I was kinda mad at her bout the bi crap but its settled now. She's been getting all touchy with me >w< so I unno. Next weekend I wont make any plans and I'll ask her out >w>;; But for now I'll get Michi's arttrade done and finish my cheesecake x3

Santiiiii is finally having fun with his life >w<!!

santiago_s_l @ 2007-11-23T16:40:00

2007-11-23T22:16:05Z

When you finally think things are starting to be okay, you just realize you were dreaming. And the longer you dream, the more its gonna hurt when you wake up...

as always, journal is divided. this time its SHOOL, BAND and LOVE life for Santi. Pick which one you wanna read lol

First, school life. As for the bi shit....

Jose apologized to us and went back to the band. We're hanging out a lot again... he gets teased a bit but I dont think he cares much. I'm not being teased a lot either for my surprise... I unno. Most of the people at school have always liked me, and only a few decided to hate me just cuz of my sexuality. Which leads me to think that most of the guys at school are mature enough to be okay with it.

Like lol. Yesterday a guy I've known for my entire life talked to me when I was going to my homeroom in the morning. He was all "lol dude I know this guy, with long hair and kinda skinny that you would totally like" and Im like "god, why havent you introduced him to me yet?" and we were both like laughing and shit xD and he was like "shut up lol, peace out" and I was like o.o;;

I was actually expecting an insult lol. But Im glad I've always been at the same school. People know me enough to give a flying damn about this XD Im getting some hate mail, but I know who is it lol cuz he's the only guy in the whole school who teases me. And I dont care so xD

Oh. Had a pre-SAT test today. I think I did well. I'll post the results when I get em

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now, the band

We had our first live performance yesterday. Will upload videos later. During the practices I did terribly. I kept hitting the drums when I wasnt suppossed to, and my solo was taken out from the song... ugh... we practiced for about two hours and I just kept getting more upset, cuz we had to play songs I didnt like in front of all the teachers at school...

The fucking thing is really heavy. My right shoulder has been killing me for a while now so I had to carry one drum at a time with my left hand. The guys helped me out and I managed to walk the bass drum by myself lol. I was kinda nervous cuz I did like shit on the practice and mom was coming to see me...

But I did pretty well. I was surprised and all xD they were like "dude no offense, but we thought you were gonna screw up lol. Keep it up like this" and I had to handshake the whole school staff @___@;; but I still feel Im below the other members' level... my self esteem is dying lol I need to practice somehow...

We're gonna play Wonderwall on the next Flag Rising Ceremony so I hope it goes as well as it did last night

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As for love life. Ugh.

I wont specify what, but I tild Tina something when I was upset this week. I was talking to her and I unno. I trusted her. But the next day the whole school knew that fact. Maybe she lied and she was the one to spread the rumour, and blamed Jose... ugh... ... to think I had a crush on that chick .___.

On the other hand. Unno. A few months ago I met DyingAngelWolf at DA. And recently I found out she lived like 30 mins away from Orlando, so we were like "hey, lets meet lol" and we were like mkay X3 and started talking lots. And unno, we started to get mushy and shit. And we went into iscribble and drew stuff and we were like squee >w<

And the rest is obvious. We fell in love with eachother and it felt great... while it lasted. She's a lesbian and she lives what.... 6000 miles away fromm me? neither of us wanted an online relationship cuz we know its really hurtful, but she was like unno. Like Jacky... ugh. Just... ugh. I felt great when she told me she loved me... but today she kinda snapped at me...

(04:19 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sowy for earlier

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I was kinda upset lol

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sowyyy

(04:20 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: it's okay

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: yayness

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: my crush calleeeddd

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: she was like

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you busy this weekend

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: and Im all OwO depends

(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: and shes all

(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you isa gonna help me this weekend with the chem project?

(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: >__>;; and Im all yea Im kinda busy

(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: cuz "helping" is doing it for her .__.

(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: ah

(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you might be mah crushhh but I aint your slave

(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:

(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl

(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: i'm Marinas slave

(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:

(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: lol

(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: she still on?

(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea

(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: gimme her email owo

(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: we're talking

(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: no i'm not gunna give it away unless she says okay

(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its on her DA anyway lol

(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl

(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just didnt want to log in xD

(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: she said it's okay

(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I was gonna add her anyway -3-

(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: will_oh_wisp@hotmail.com

(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: I thought you didnt like her

(04:24 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I do like her lol but I was being a jealous asshole

(04:24 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: thats the reason I apologized just now lol

(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl

(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: look i'm really sorry

(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: what did you do o__o

(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: cus i've kinda been leading you on, look I do like you Santi but I could never like you the way I like Marina

(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: i'm sorry

(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I know, I know

(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: u do?

(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: yes

(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: but

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: after Jacky dumped me I thought I would never feel that way again

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: but I felt it with you...

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: even if I knew it was gonna end up in nothing

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just made up some false hopes

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its kinda my fault

(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just...

(04:27 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just miss so much being told I love you by someone...

(04:28 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: Santi i'm sorry, i'm really sorry but I loved Marina before I met you and I just cant deal with an online relationship

(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I know, I know...

(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: stop rubbing it all over my face lol...

(04:28 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: sorry

(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I told you its okay

(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its my fault for being a pathetic idiot

(04:29 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: your not a pathetic idiot

(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: if I werent, I would have understoond things werent gonna go the way I wanted them to

(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I wouldnt have raised false expectations and I wouldnt be hurt

(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: as I said earlier today

(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sometimes I just get so mad at myself lol...

(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea I get mad at myself to

(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I guess it happens to everyone...

(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea well look I gotta run some errands with my mom

(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: I should be back soon

(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: mkay...

(04:31 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:

(04:31 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: bye...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So there. Unno... my mood is kinda six feet under...

I think I was an idiot for really believing... ugh nvm... out of all people I had to fall for a lesbian who leaves in florida... why cant I just have a normal fucking life...

ugh...

I miss being told I love you by someone...
I miss having someone to say I love you to...
I miss being needed...
being loved...

ugh... *hugs his stuffed puppy*

I thought I was getting over this...
but now that things are just turning out the way they werent suppossed to...
I'm starting to feel nostalgia...
Longing for the old days...
Im starting to miss my someone..

Im starting to miss my bunny...

//+|Shit|+|Weekend|+|Bisexual|+\\

2007-11-19T23:38:49Z

Checkit, a variety of screwups just from this weekend and monday. Yay... Im feeling like my inner emo is taking over right now >__>;;

The four of us went to a band practice on saturday. Jose got early to my place, so we took a walk around the condo. And guess what. Natalia was in her place with the door open. And as a good gossiper/stalker, I took a sneak peek. And she was kissing some guy... dunno who. But I got angry and just asked mom to take us to the place already >___>;;

So we went to the practice and we had to wait almost an hour for the guy to show up so we could practice. And I was kinda pissed. Whe we finally got to play, I hit the drums really hard and my drumsticks almost broke apart. But it felt pretty good lol and I kinda let my anger out, so it went fine. After 2 hours, we got some beers and then went to Raul's place to chill out. Then, my shoulders started hurting like a bitch >__>;; unno

cha. Then on sunday the three of us went out cuz Jose was at a farm place... or something. We were going to a little raveish thing, with metal bands... christian metal bands lol. And I fixed my emo hair and Andres made fun of me, the fucker. HAHA >___>;; unno. We waited for t thing to start. And the place was like filled with emos OwO;; but we waited for an hour and it didnt start, so we left to a ocal pizza place for some garlic bread and coke.

And today at school. Somehow everyone knows I'm bi. No one teased me anyway, but I was like >__>;; wtf and oh well. I thought like, someone saw my profile somewhere and just spreaded the gossip. And Jose left the band. Raul also plays the guitar, so it was an affordable loss but still -___-;; I think its cuz me and the bassist are bi and he gets like... intimidated, unno. And he gets teased about being in the band for being a suppossedly "badass kid". And he left the band. He can rot.

I WAS SO ANGRY I DIDNT EVEN SIT WITH HIM FOR LUNCH >:U sat with Raul and Andres intead >___>;; you'll be missing my jokes, asshole

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tina sounded pretty upset at school after lunch. She didnt talk much to me even when we were sitting together at chemistry, but I tried to make her feel better somehow... and the chem teacher gave us an assigment so we did it together and she got kinda distracted and everything went fine. Meanwhile, people were whispering about me... and I actually felt kinda important lol. Unno

When I got home, Tina called me. She souded really upset... and she was like apologizing and I think she thought I was mad at her... because she knew I was bi, and ended up saying it by accident in front of her friend (which I hate and is a fucking gossip/prep/bitch *rantrant*) and she called the whole classroom and bah... The point is, Tina felt as if it had been her fault and I was like, "Its okay. You know I love you, and I wouldnt get mad with you because of something this stupid"

In any case, she kinda calmed down. Im glad she did. She said I could count on her for anything, and I told her I knew, because I trusted her. And this is what I found out:

Two weeks ago, Andres suppossedly kissed a guy. Jose made a HUGE, and I mean a HUGE deal about it. So there were some problems in the band before I joined. I kinda joined last week, and Jose wouldnt let Andres alone for a sec without calling him gay. And then I start hanging out with Andres, and here's whats funny. Jose made a gossip about me being bisexual and told his friend, who was with some of the people of our class out of town in a sports tournament. This included Tina. After she found out, she accidentally told Laura (that bitch ugh) and the whore told practically the whole school. Then, Jose found one of my profiles on the internet and was shocked when he got wise the gossip he made up was true. So he decided to leave the band and just told Raul the reason, which lets me think it was prolly because of Andres and me, and now everyone knows about it and my inner emo kid is sprouting. And Jose was one of my best friends. And now Tina is feeling aweful about this.

And so am I

it was a wonderful day. Oh joy...

//+|Destiny|+|Jacky|+|Band|+\\

2007-11-17T02:19:07Z

Got in an arguement with Destiny today
she talked to Jacky and I dont know what did she tell her
neither I care
but Des made Jacky VERY pissed, and she got pissed with me as well
and she said she didnt want to be my friend anymore, which hurt me

Here are out points of view:

DESTINY: She changed and I miss her so much I hate her for not being my friend n shit ;___;
SANTI: She broke up with me, but Im glad we can be friends. Time to move on, people!

So Des was being all clingy and shit
and I started yelling, unno.
I was like SHE CHANGED, BUT WE CHANGED TOO. SO GET OVER IT
and got very upset...

then I called Jacky
I thought she was mad at me. And it turns out she thought I was mad at her
but we talked for a bit and got stuff figured up
and I think she's not pissed at me anymore
or I hope so, because I really want to keep being her friend

but if Destiny wont move on and just gonna make me involved I dont want to have anything to do with her

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BTW BUNNY

THOSE THIIIIIIIIIINGS AINT MADE TO BE THROWN AT CARS
GIVE EM A PROPER USE GODDAMIT xDDDDDDDD;;

and sorry for the "ex" shit
I promise it wont happen again

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

During the phonecall, Jacky and I got the January visit thing sorted out.
We agreed to wait, so we avoid hurting eachother. So we're probably meeting in summer
I'll meet Michi tho, so I still have a reason to go to the States

Im glad Jacky is doing well. It seems Justin is taking good care of her
at first, when she said that it felt better than me, I felt bad
but I finally get it
its not that she loves him more. But it DOES feel better, cuz he's there for her.
and Im SO glad she found a mate that can be there for her >w< Im looking for someone too Owo
If he makes her cry tho. I'll hit his snout with a newspaper
really hard >___>;;

she says IM a flirt, but IM still too shy to flirt xDD
IM just like >///< would you like to come over to my place and rent a movie or something? >///////////////<
but at least I ask now.
One thing IM very grateful about my previous relationship with Bunny is that she gave me self-confidence
and now I can actually talk to females without being red X33
squeeeeeeeeeee <3333 I'll prolly ask Natalia out again this weekend, so wish me luck >w<

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We had a band practice today. Jose found a place where we can play as loud as we want
and we can rent a drumkit until Vanessa arrives xDD;; which is monday, I think. We'll prolly practice every reccess after she's har >W<
the practice place was reserved today tho, so we're going tomorrow at 4. Jose had a date, so raul, andres and me went to raul's place to practice a bit
I just sang tho, cuz he had no drums and I was moving my drumsticks around feeling all defeated DDDDDDx
They told me I sing niiiiice X333333 and now Im a lead singer owO;;
SEE JACKY TOLD YOUUUUUUU I have a nice voice -3-
Im lying. I hate my voice lol. Its too... squeaky? I talk like a female XD
anywho. We recorded ourselves singing "girlfriend". Maybe I'll upload it later, if I figure out how to plug my cellphone into my computer

OH. And we finally came up with a name for the band

*deep breath*

SKETCH

Isnt it awesome X33
Andres came up with it
I was thinking of "Sixteen eyed" Because the four of us have glasses XD
but the name is apparently taken lol... shit

thats all for now, I guess X3
Im feeling happy
cuz things are good between jacky and me, and cuz the band thing is finally going well, and cuz IM feeling sappy cuz of natyyyyyyy <3333

squeeeee X333 and I cant wait to meet Michi in decemberrrrr

Im kinda mushy now. I wonder if Naty is home
IMa go check and stalk her -3-

cya guys later, love for all <33333

// feelings\\

2007-11-16T02:06:10Z

drumkit is arriving on monday. The whole band is pretty excited! Ima name it Vanessa. Thats the name of a girl I fell for a few months ago and she asked me out. But I was with Jacky, so I said no and never saw her again. Cuz we met someplace and we like fell instantly but we didnt get a way to contact eachother before we left. And now, the drumkit ish named after her :] The band is pretty excited about this. We've been waiting for the drums for a while now XD IM glad they ish haaaaaar >w<

We're having a practice on friday. Just till 5pm tho, cuz Jose and Andres are going out with their girlfriends. Raul's just left him for another guy (soud familiar lol?) so we're the poor bachelors of the band XDDDDDDDD I unno. Im so glad IM getting to hang out with the peepssssss etc

I met someone awesome. I've known her on DA for a while but finally asked her for her msn. And shes the besttt X333 shes all you would with for in a woman. But shes a lesbian loooool. Besides. I dont even wanna handle a long distance relationship again. But she told me I was attractiva and amn her cuz she made me blush and Im having my revenge >___>;; cuz we're meeting in december X333 she lives close to orlando so she'll come by so we can hang out and go to disney or something. IM so exciteeeeeeeed X333

also, on other news. Im having problems with jacky. she's mad at me because Im refering to her as my ex. And she now thinks IM a jerk. After 6 months, and just now she started to think IM a jerk. I wish I could fix her opinion about me... I still want to be her friend but I unno... IM feeling like she just wants to push me aside, out of her life. And IM very worried about her... she did something very irresponsible. Its not of my bussiness, but I still worry about her...

well I guess thats all for now...

just here

needing someone to hug really bad, excited about the drumkit and worried sick about jacklynn

I hope Im wrong this time but ugh...

..:://+|CrUsH|+|UcKy FeElInGs|+\\::..

2007-11-12T12:52:35Z

So lol. Ummm... I never know where to begin when I post a Journal xDD;;

SANTAAAAAYYYYYYY

Has a crush :3

A huge one too x33

The name's Natalia. Lol. Its a weird and funny story. When I first moved into the condo like 4 years ago I hung out with her for a while, but then I normally stayed home and blablabla. Before going to spain, we knew eachother but she was more friends with my brother. But lol. xDDD... we went sometimes to the forest near this place and did stuff. Fun stuff. We were kids lol. We showed eachother our ass xDDDD how dumb is that XDD

So after 4 years in europe, we came back >w> and after prolly 8 months she started sending me love letters xD it stopped after a few weeks, and I always thought she was just trying to be annoying. Besides, that was about 3 years ago and I didnt really care about love and shit at the time. But this year she went for it again lol and when her mom comes to talk to mine, she plays with Pistacho and asks if Im home xD;; and when Im playing my DS on the balcony, she waves her hand at me X3

So on saturday I went to her place (which isnt really far from mine... if Im at house 33, shes at 28 lol...) and asked her... FOR A CALCULUS BOOK and I felt I failed so much xDDDDD;;; but then >w> when she was closing th door <w< I put my foot so she wouldnt X3

NATY: 6.6?
SANTI: >__>;;
NATY: 6w6?
SANTI: Umm... nothing lol forget it *uberblush, turn away*
NATY: Wait lol tell me owO
SANTI: It aint important lol *giggle*
NATY: <v<
SANTI: I was wondering if you were busy this weekend 9//9
NATY: Kindasorta... why? owo
SANTI: Maybe lol I unno. Im kinda bored and everyone seems to be busy xD so if you get the time, I thouhgt you could drop by my place so we could rent a movie and order some pizza, or just hang out in the mall
NATY: *huge grin* Well I have a huge project due tuesday, so I unno if I can. I couldnt even hang out with my friends this weekend. But I'll call you to let you know X33
SANTI: Kay baiiii X33
NATY: baiiii X3

Then we both waved att eachother like idiots and I went to my place and had a giggle attack xDD But cha 9w9 it feels nice to have someone to think about in a cute way X33 LURRRRVEEEEEEE lol not really. Just a crush. But as I said, a huge one OwO she couldnt go out, but everytime she saw me, we waved at eachother all cute like X33

ALSO

ON OTHER NEWS

I unno. It feels too weird. I've been getting ucky feelings about my ex. So I called her on saturday to see how was her life going. And I unno. She acted so weird... I dont even know cuz lol I unno. But prolly since friday Im getting bad feelings. Nasty ones. Im feeling like. Resentment or something. To the point everytime I think of her I feel kind of sick

I dont want to feel this way because I still want to be friends with her. But I cant help it lol. I have been thinking about the December visit and I dont really know if its the right thing to do anymore. I want to meet her irl, but maybe we'll both feel uncomfy, or Justin will feel jealous or I unno. So unno.

When I called her two days ago I felt really uncomfortable. Not with Justin. He sounded nice (tho his voice is kind of funny xD) But I felt uncomfy with her. Shes not the same person... or at least I dont feel she is. When I said I was flirting with a chick, that I was working out and playing soccer and that I dont like to draw anymore, she said "I liked you more when you were like me" and I felt lke I hated her for saying that

9__9;; I unno. Maybe Im starting to change too. Or maybe Im just angry cuz I have to wait two more weeks to get my drumkit, and I dont have someone else to focus my anger into. I just hope these feelings fade, cuz I want to love her as a friend... I want to trust her again and shit. Meh. I un wanna call her in a long while lol... perhaps when we actually have something to talk about?

who knows. bla. Ima go stalk Naty so cya guys later xDD

SANTI OUT

..:://+|Friends Forever|+\\::..

2007-11-06T02:51:56Z

Maybe I'll stay here at LJ. Its a stress reliever lol

Breaking up was hard. Very hard. I think that there were too many things that led to the breakup. When it happened on friday, I couldnt stop crying and I just couldnt stop thinking about how it had just been her fault alone. And I hated myself for not being the one with the courage to end our relationship. I felt... jealous to the fact that she had grown stronger than me in these past six months.

But yup, its over now. After six months of hard fighting to get to the final goal, we finished it 2 months before meeting. And that fact made me very, very sad. Because she broke our most important promise... to hold until we met at least once. But things are getting better at this point. Let me explain what happened this weekend throughoutly. Its gonna be a long journal, so skip the parts you dont care about

FRIDAY - The Breakup

Okay. I had a free day on friday because it was report card day. Last weekend, I was planning on leaving Jacky because she was hurting me too much. But i the end we had fun and it felt so normal that I chickened out and hoped we would be able to fix. But this time, as she said last weekend when I literally begged her to spend some time with me, tape wasnt going to be enough.

I did fine in school. Failed Calculus, but aside from that I got straight A's and B's, so I didnt get scolded. At least not much. When I got home, I decided to finish a picture I was making for her. It was a gift for our 6th month anniversary. But that was going to be on monday, and we didnt make it. Later on today (monday) I changed the title of the pic to "Friends Forever" and changed the description because Im actually feeling a lor better after we talked about this on sunday. This was the picture:

I know she gets home from school at 3 pm. But I didnt know that the time went an hour back up there, so when I called at 2, it was still 2 up there. I waited for an hour and called again at 3. And she answered the phone...

SANTI: HI BUNYYYYYYYY
JACKY: Hey!
SANTI: How ish youuuuuuu
JACKY: Fine, fine. You?
SANTI: Well Im uber excited cuz I'm talking to mah bunny and stuff >w<
JACKY: Umm
SANTI: 6w6 and we're gonna have so much fun this weekend and just wait cuz Im sure we're gonna totally fix after this >w<
JACKY: Well I unno, Im going out with Justy like right now...
SANTI: ...so... we're not gonna watch the movie...
JACKY: I just hope you didnt get it yet.
SANTI: No lol I was gonna get it now but its okay. So tomorrow?
JACKY: I unno, Im spending the night out and tomorrow I have a birthday thing...
SANTI: ...so...when are we gonna talk...
JACKY: I dont know...
SANTI: But you promised....
JACKY: I know I know...
SANTI: Why do you keep breaking your promises ;___; you told me! how are we suppossed to fix if you wont be here with me to close the wound??
JACKY: About that... I need to talk to you bout something, but I cant right now cuz I gotta go...
SANTI: Well I unno... please tell them to go out later, I unno ;____; you're spending so much time with then and Im getting nothing... Im getting tired of having to wait for you ;____; I dont wanna wait anymore... I wanna fix and be the same way we were before ;___;
JACKY: I sorry...
SANTI: DO YOU EVEN LOVE ME ANY MORE??
JACKY: ...

At this point, there was a one minute long silence that seemed to last forever

SANTI: Please... Im your mate... if you ask them to hang out later, they'll understand...
JACKY: I cant... I gotta go...
SANTI: Bunny this cant stay like this ;_____; please... stay and lets talk...
JACKY: I told you we need to talk, but I cant right now...
SANTI: Bunny... please...
JACKY: I cant...
SANTI: BUNNY ;____; do you even wanna spend time with me anymore???
JACKY: I dont know...
SANTI: ...
JACKY: ...
SANTI: I unno... does this mean... we're gonna finish...?
JACKY: I think so...
SANTI: BUNNY ;_____; NO....
JACKY: Im sorry...
SANTI: Are you breaking up with me ;_____;
JACKY: yeah...
SANTI: PLEASE!! GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE!! BUNNY!!!
JACKY: I gotta go...
SANTI: PLEASE.... YOU CANT JUST DO THIS. BUNNY... THE TICKETS!! JUST TWO MONTHS LEFT... DONT DO THIS TO ME!!
JACKY: Im sorry... I have to go...
SANTI: Is it that Justin guy ;___;
JACKY: No...
SANTI: THEN WHAT??
JACKY: I just feel I have hurt you too much... you deserve someone better... someone who can be there for you... I cant stand to urt you, and I think you have to be free...
SANTI: I dont wanna be free, I wanna be with you ;____;
JACKY: Bunny I gotta go...
SANTI: You cant just go... we need to talk about this... please stay...
JACKY: I told you I want to talk about it, but I cant right now... I have to go now...
SANTI: Then when ;____;
JACKY: I dont know...
SANTI: >____< YOU NEVER KNOW
JACKY: Im sorry...
SANTI: PLEASE BUNNY. ONE MORE CHANCE. I SWEAR ILL MAKE EVERYTHING WORK OUT!! PLEASE!! WE HAVE THE TICKETS, EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY!! JUST TWO MORE MONTHS!! PLEASE!!! ;_____;
JACKY: ...
SANTI: Bunny...? Jacky?? JACKLYNN???

-conversation ends here-

I pretty much spent the rest of the day crying and wondering why did this have to happen. I had the urge to kill myself a few times, so I called mom, who was out of town, and asked her not to hang up...

After I calmed down a bit, I modified my DA account. Took out my avatar. Erased my signature. And writing an entry about this... mom got home about 4 pm and talked with me abut till 10 pm, whe she was too tired and went to sleep. Then I spent the night crying till my dad came home at 3 am and spent the rest of the night talking to him about this...

I couldnt stop thinking to myself that it was all her fault. I thought that she didnt love me anymore. That this had been a waste of time. That she changed me for any guy. That she cheated on me. And that she didnt give a flying damn about the fact that there were only 2 months remaining till we were suppossed to meet...

Fortunately, all of the above were proven wrong on sunday

SATURDAY - The ucky feelings and moving on

On saturday I felt like a genuine piece of shit. Or at least in the morning. I saw Pistacho running around and I thought... "she's never gonna meet him..." and I was like that with many stuff all day. Everything somehow reminded me of her lol... And I kept wondering. She sounded so calm when she broke up with me, and I kept wondering.

"was it even hurtful?"

"did I really mean something to her?"

"was this really a waste of time?"

"did she leave me for that justin guy?"

and the best of em: "If we were so normal last weekend... what changed this week that made her change her mind????"

everytime I thought of those questions, I could help it but feeling crappy. But I talked to mom. She told me that things happen for a reason. And she told me that maybe this was the right way, because that way I could get my life back. And I know what she meant. Ever since Hallow and I became mates, we were both focused just on eachother. And that was hurting us.

The difference was that... Jacky moved on quicker. She found out that she needed more, and started hanging out with her friends more than me. I had heard from a guy she used to talk with that she wasnt sure about who to love... JUstin or me. And I felt as if it were obvious that she cheated on me. That perhaps at this very moment, they were together.

On saturday morning, I hated Jacklynn Gapczynski with all my heart.

And I felt like such an idiot later on. My math teacher was coming, and when I was in class with him, I just wanted one of us to die so I wouldnt have bear with him explaining about rational functions when all I wanted to do was burying my head in the sand and die somewhere dark, cold and quiet .___.

When he finally left, I called up there and her brother got the phone. She wasnt home. Prolly at the birthday thing. Then, dad took me and my bro to help him out with doctor stuff. And when I was there, I started callig everyone. I even called Tina, and we're probably going out. Who's Tina? she's been my crush since 9th grade lol when she said she was gonna think about it, I was very happy. And I started wondering what was I gonna tell Jacky on sunday when I callled her.

After that, I went with dad to a dinning place but didnt eat anything. I havent eaten in the past 5 days lol only a bit of dinner everyday. Maybe its cuz of the hypoglycemia thing, who knows. I un wanna die lol. The case is, I went with dad and when we came back I went straight to bed.

SUNDAY - The Makeup, the Pinky Promise and the birthday party

I got up at prolly 4 am and didnt stop thinking about the call. What was I suppossed to say n shit? I started watching some cartoons... Foster's was on and I almost cried when I watched 5 minutes of it .___. so I stayed on Disney watching the Brandy and Mr Whiskers marathon. When it was over, it was about 6 am.

I got downstairs and layed on the couh crying silently. At that time, we used to wake up when we slept together. Half an hour later, I turned on the comp. She had been online on msn the other night, and there was a new entry on her LJ. That meant that she was home. My heart started pounding like crazy and didnt know what to do.

And I was stupid enough to read her entry.

A few hours after breaking up, she hooked up with Justin. The fact that she didnt wait got me devastated. My self esteem dropped to the floor and I started crying loudly. When I took the phone, my hands were shaking. I didnt know what to feel. Anger, sadness... unno. The first time I was shaking so hard I couldnt press the right buttons. Second time, no one answered. Third time, Jack got it and got jacky in the phone

"Do you have 5 minutes to talk to an old friend?"

We had a pretty normal conversation. The last thing I wanted was to make her upset. She was quiet, but I have a gift to make people cheer up lol so in no time we were laughing around as if nothing had happened two days before that. At that time I felt... so happy. But also sad, because it was the last time we were gonna talk as mates.

After chatting for a bit, we concluded that our reasons to break up were:

JACKY:

- Im hurting you
- Im tired of dating a keyboard
- I cant be there for you, you cant be there for me
- I want a real relationship
- I want you to be free
- I fell in love with Justin

SANTI:

- She was feeling too distant
- She friggin missed my birthday lol
- I was tired of dating a keyboard
- I cant be there for her, she cant be here for me
- I want a real relationship
- This girl wasnt the same Jacky I fell in love with 6 months ago
- I fell in love with Valentina

After everything got cleared up, I started crying: "This is the last phonecall as mates, at least in a long while. And its probably the last chance I'll get to tell you this... I love you. Forever and ever *at this point I couldnt talk right because of the urge to break down and cry* until time stops and we become the brightest star in the nightsky" After that, the phonecard died and we got on msn

I loved that conversation. I keep readin it, and it moves me everytime I do. We could finally tell eachother the way we really felt. It turns out that neither of us loved affectionally the other, but both of us intend to always keep that little special spot in our heart for eachother. We also made one last pinky promise, but I wont talk about that here. The point is, that we'll keep contact.

CONCLUSION:

- We dont love eachother affectively anymore
- We were both tired of the distance being a bitch
- We both still want to meet in vacations, which is probably going to happen
- We want to always be friends and never lose contact whatever happens
- If someday we get to be together, we'll give us another shot without the distance between us
- We'll never forget how meaningful this was
- We'll wait for a bit longer, and then only God knows what is gonna happen
- Even if we are both engaged now (or at least she is and I intend to be xDD) she'll always be my only doggy gal and I'll always be her only doggy boi
- We'll always be eachother's Bunny, even if we're not mates anymore
- I wanna hit Justin's balls with a baseball bat ^.^ (kidding lol... or am I? >w>...)

Mom told me that if we were really meant to be together, at the end it was going to be that way. Im still going to New Jersey to study German after I graduate, so lets see if fate wants to draw us together in two years and see what happens

Conversation ended in a roleplayed kiss, the reminder of pinky promise "always friends", the agreement of pinky promise "two years", the official ending of our relationship and the final goodbye of two persons that loved eachother to no end. After the conversation, I went to a birthday party and stayed the night. Guess what. Couldnt sleep.

MONDAY - The anger, the daydreaming and the new life

At first, I felt relieved. But on sunday night I couldnt sleep. Silent Hill was on and the people watched it and I wanted to cry so hard. We went to sleep and I got up at about 3 am. I just got out of the room and walked around the house. And I was trying not to, but the image of Justin holding her hand, hugging her neck and kissing her lips kept popping up. I even pictured them making love once or twice, and it made me angry to no end. Because after all my 6 month-long effort, I didnt get a single thing. And after a one month-long effort, he's gettiing everything. And it makes me mad

But I tried to change my feelings. I started picturing me going to Alpena and having a lot of fun with Jacklynn. We can still go to the sauna, dine together, play videogames, listen to music while laying on the couch, throw snowfights, make a snowman, exchange xmas presents... the stuff friends do.

I did picture some kiss scenes between us tho lol but I couldnt help it. After 8 months waiting, Im geting my kiss. Unno how lol but I'm getting it. So I started picturing all the fun we were gonna have, how Jstin and I were gonna do stuff as well and get along...

this scene. I pictured it in different variations for 1 hour. Jacky and I got construction paper and did a heart. Then we torn it and fix it with tape etc, until we couldnt fix it anymore and we would have to whçrite what was accorded in the last pinky promise. We would heep the heart in a safe place, and bring it out again when the time came. I got very mushy thinking of that, and I havent felt bad since then

And since I kept walking in circles around the house, I scared the shit out of the other guys XDDD they called me Emily Rose through the day XDDD

well after a bit, I came back home and eventually went to Mateo's place to play football n shit. I told him about the breakup and he was kinda supportive, even tho he's usually an asshole. I think that during these situations is when yu realize who your true friends are.

So well... thats all. Jacky and I accorded to talk this friday and every friday of the week of the 5th of that month.

Theres school tomorrow.

Maybe I'll talk to Tina

Im glad I finally have the courage to ask her out

but thats all thanks to jacky...

so thankyou for changing me into a more caring, sensitive and self confident guy. Adçnd thankyou for such a wonderful time

I'll always love you deep beneath any feelings I may develop for someone else.

cya all

bahbye

2007-11-02T20:55:22Z

as of today, Im no longer in a relationship

meh... I kinda saw it coming...

I wanted to break up with her but didnt have the courage...

well... I dont think Ill be posting here anymore

and now, some cheap propaganda xDD

VISIT MY DA LOL

lookit---> santiago-s-l.deviantart.com

thankyou all for reading my pointless journals lol

farewell, Im off to kill myself ^^

//+|My Real Age|+|BIRTHDAY|+|Hypoglicemic\+\\

2007-10-22T21:25:38Z

You Are 17 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

Close enough.

BECAUSE TODAY

IS MY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY

And my bunny sent a note and wished me a happy birthday X3333 *flails* its a shame we couldnt talk. But at least she said it. When I read her note I wanted to die XDDD many people have wished me a happy bday today, but her note is all that matters.

Im so excited X333 thins are starting to work out, and mom is even done with the December plans! Im so excited about meeting my bunny... and when I get my birthday kiss... IM gonna slobber her face @w@

squeeee Im all jumpy and bouncy...

cept for the fact that I had to stay in bed lol. Cuz... I've been having a serious eating disorder for a few months now, and it seems its because something is wrong with me. I was specially crappy last weekend, so mom took me to the doctor... and guess what

Im frickin hipoglycemic

that sounded so weird I thought it was something aweful and I was gonna die or something lol. But its not... very serious. I have practically no sugar in my blood. What does that mean? lack of strenght and energy, mood swings, random depressions, nausea, random crying, loss of hunger and constant headaches/stomachaches

so there we go. Im sick XDD I feel special now. Shit. It has its good side tho. I have to follow a sugar rich diet, which includes lots of sugar filled stuff such as chocolate (orgasms everywhere dude) and a wide variety of candies, fruits and other sweets

so dont worry about me.... I wont die anytime soon as long as I get enough sugar in my veins XD

ttyl people

Santi-out

//+|FIXED|+\\

2007-10-21T13:44:36Z

I finally got to understand what really happened

we both screwed up, but I really believe that things will get better eventually

I love her, and she loves me

Im sure that soon enough, we'll forget about this and be the same hyper, lovey dovey puppies we have always been

Im happy that I met her, I've never regretted anything...

Jacky if you read this...

I just want you to know that I love you

and that I'll always be at your side whatever happens

thats all for now.

I'll take a little break from the internet until she comes back

so... cya people. I'll be back soon enough