which means they might be leaving soon.
....
My dad offered to get danny some vaccines she might need
which are a lot cheaper here
My father in law said that danny should get the shots before leaving
but both shots need six months in between em to work...
but also, my mom in law want to leave as soon as summer is here
Danny told me all of this yesterday
which she shouldnt have
because now I cant help to have some sort of hope that we'll hold out till december
december...
fuckin month is gonnna leave some sort of trauma, I swear
if it werent for the presents.... xD
but now I know its gonna hurt even more if she leaves in summer
but...
she said she was willing to hold out....
long distance.
In a year from now, I'll graduate and I'll move in with my uncle at jersey
she'll be leaving at washington with her parents...
so If we hold we may be together...
I found hope again. A hope I didnt want. And still dont want
I feel Im gonna end up hurt again but....
I cant break up with her...
I dont want to see her crying again...
Im too weak for this
if anyone out there still reads this shit...
help, please....?
My social life has been amazing. Im hangin out every weekend with my friends and Im having a lot of fun lately. My musician life isnt so bad either. Went on a tour for thursday and friday kinda sorta. Played in a couple of schools and I had lots of fun. Met some new cool people and tried to get drunk but failed. Gave up at 1 am and gave my last beer to Raul. My host's name was Virginia.... stayed the night at her place. I went with her to her.... play thing practice. She was doing a Moulin Rouge dance with her classmates...
she was all
"HOWS MY SEX FACE?? SHOULD I MOVE MY TOUNGE MORE??"
I lol'ed. Had too much fun lol
My love life aint going that great tho. After Danny's BDay party on March, I got wise she's leaving for the States on June. Ive been trying to let go bit by bit ever since, and maybe I did it too fast. I started planning the breakup not so long ago. Decided to tell her today during the course of the week... but yesterday she got in a dumb arguement with her mom and shit happened.
For getting home
half hour late....
AT 8:30 PM FOR GODS SAKE.
Her mom is extremely over protective. She told her to be home at 8, but she went to have dinner with a couple of friends at 7. The food took too long tho and she got her lasagna an hour and a half later. Her mom called her all mad and shit and started yelling w/out letting Danny say a word. She got very emotional and her bestfriend took her cel and tried to calm her mom down. Didnt work tho, and the bitch grounded her for a month
A MONTH
She wont be able to go out and her cel was taken away. Its unbelievable. She treats her like a baby... its so fucking annoying >_< So last night I called her and found this out... I had never heard her cry so much. I was so damn mad... still are, but I calmed down. Its more like anguish... called Karen and she explained every detail... and I took it out on her lol. Of course, I started insulting the bitch and mom heard me. Gave me a sermon and took away my cel as well.... I had time to get my SIM back tho so its fine... kinda sorta.
I cant break up with her now. She needs her friends. She needs me. Her mom is driving her crazy... we'll be meeting up behind her back at Karen's house, or at least Karen offered us the chance... I'll say Im in reinforcements at school till 5, and shell say she's gotta go to Karen's to do a uge project. I dont know if Im still in love... but Im still her boyfriend its my duty to support her until all this shit is over. I'll prolly stay with her till June and just take the blow.
I still want to make her happy till the last moment... Maybe theres still some love in there, so Im gonna try to lit the fire again. We had planned to watch a ver, VERY mushy movie today. I dont know if I can be so optimistic... but Im really hoping she wont be grounded for so long. I want to hold her hand again... I feel so guilty now for even thinking about cutting it off... ugh... gah Im so confused. I need a hug .______. I need my Chicken... my Locky... Momochito...
I'll update videos of the tour later....
but for now, I'll be heading back to my grave
kthnx
- Mood:
enraged
[ name ]: Santiago Sanchez
[ nicknames ]: Santi, Emokid, Brownie :3
[ screen name ]: santiago-s-l
[ birthday ]: 0ctober 22, 1991
[ born in]: A hospital? :3
[ age ]: 16
[ eye color ]: honeyish... brown o.o
[ height ]: 5,8 and still growing :3
[ weight ] : 169 Dx
[ nationality ]: Colombian
[ astrological sign ]: Liber
[ location ]: mah haus michey mouse... :]
[ siblings ]: a younger bro <3
[ pets ]: Pistachoooooo OwO;;
[ in the morning i`m ]: sleepy andkindahorneh lol
[ all i need is ]: my fwends my gf and mah music <3
[ love is ]: Pizza <333
[ if i could see one person right now it would be]: Dannay D:
[ i`m afraid of ]: the dark and bering lonely or hated ._.
[ i dream about ]: The Fat Thing running after me DDDDx
HAVE YOU EVER?
[ pictured your crush naked? ]: maybe >w>
[ used someone? ]: I do constantly -___- not with sex kinda stuff tho, its like schoolwork n shit
[ been used? ]: I dont think so o.o
[ been cheated on? ]: uh huh >__>
[ been kissed? ]: x3 squee
[ done something you regret? ]: Too many things to list
FAVORITE
[ food? ]: cseafood OwO japaneseeeeeeeeeee >w<
[ fruit? ]: kiwi <3 and plums OwO
[ candy? ]: REESES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[ color? ]: Dark blue, orange and neon green.... and blood red lolbbq
[ number? ]: 9
[ animal? ]: Doggies <3
[ drink? ]: Dr Pepper owo
[ soda? ]: DR PEPPER D:
[ book? ]: Red April
[ room? ]: Mah music room <3
[ movie? ]: Ratatouille X3 and the Butterfly Effect :3
[ have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ]: <333333333333333333333333333333333333333
[ like cleaning? ]: No D:
[ have a tattoo? ]: No DDD:
[ have any piercings]: I wish I did DDDDDx
ARE YOU?
[ obsessive? ]: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
[ able to live without the computer? ]: yeah unless Im bored the shit outta me lawl
[ bored? ]: Im at the computer... Im SUPPOSSED to be bored lmao
[ happy? ]: OwO;;;
[ missing someone? ]: ;____; uh huh <3
[ confused? ]: *shakes head*
[ tired? ]: Sleepy D:
[ mad? ]: not really o.o
[ sleepy? ]: X3 cha
DO YOU EVER?
[ stay on waiting for someone special to IM you? ]: No lol I'd rather call her.... but I have no minutes D:
[ save msn conversations? ]: THEY SAVE THEMSELVES ASDFGHJKL;;;;;;;
[ wish you were a member of the opposite sex? ]: Boobies OwO;;; lol jk
[ cheat on tests/homework? ]: not.. anymore?
[ drink/smoke? ]: Drink. Smoking ish fugly D:
[ swear a lot? ]:I never fucking swear D:
[ like watching sunrises or sunset? ]: They're only cute if I watch em with a certain somewun
[ pray? ]: Atheist
[ go to church? ]: Read previous question plz xD
[ have secrets? ]: >w> thats a secret
[ have a best friend? ]: 4 <3
[ like your own handwriting?]: Its so fucking amazing and you're so not worth showing it to <3 ahaha :]
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON WHO?
[ you talked to on the phone? ]: Talked, not scolded? that would be Danny two nights ago
[ you hugged? ]: Danny <3
[ you instant messaged? ]: Danny xD
[ instant messaged you? ]: Danny? o.o;
[ sent you an e-mail? ]: Some fat guy trying to get to me to rape me DDDDx Idontrememberlol
[ you laughed with? ]: Mom
[ slept in your bed? ]: Me :]
[ you shared a drink with? ]: I dont share my drinks >:[
[ you went to the movies with? ]: watched Bratz last night with Daniela lol.... oof xDD;;
[ yelled at you? ]: Dad .__.
[ you called? ]: Danny
[ you kicked? ]: Jose :]
[ you saw? ]: David going into the bathroom to take a bath o.o
WHO IS?
[ the most handsome person you know? ]: Men are handsome. Women are beautiful. Danny is a woman. And Danny ish beewtiful. See how the equation goes? owo
[ the weirdest person you know? ]: Myself o.o
[ the funniest person you know? ]: Jose xD
[ the loudest person you know? ]: KAREN ASDFGHJKL;;
[ the quietest person you know? ]: Andrea D:
[ the sweetest person you know? ]: Danny cuz she knows how to make me melt lol <3
[ the most serious person you know? ]: My brother lol
[ your best friend? ]: Jose, Raul, Mr. Bassist and mah Danny <333333333
[ the person you hate the most? ]: I dont really hate people xD
[ the person you see most? ]: WHOS THAT HOTTIE BEHIND THE MIRROR asdfghjkl;;;
WHAT IS?
[ the first thing you thought of when you woke up ]: ugh @o@ *drool* HAI MOM
[ song that describes you? ]: Feeling This by blink 182 and I feel so by Boxcar Racer are my fucking anthems <333
[ your best feature? ]: Im able to shut up and listen :3
[ missed memories.. ]: I'll never get over my fwends in spain lol... >___<;;
IN THE FUTURE
[ what is the age you hope to get married? ]: Marriage is the most expensive way to fuck up a nice relationship :] lol jk ummm 20something? xD
[ number and names of kids? ]: one and a dog :3
[ where do you see yourself at age 20? ]: College <333
[ describe your dream wedding? ]: At a beach during a sunset with only my best friends and most loved relatives
[ when and how do you want to die? ]: During my sleep, at an old age, after I was able to see my grandchildren grow up and I accomplished my dreams
[ what are you career plans? ]: Lawschool... or maybe Graphical Design
[ someplace youd like to visit? ]: Japan or Hawaii... but I'd love to live in New Zealand <3
LAST TIME
[ last time you went out of state? ]: I do constantly... maybe once or twice a month xD
[ last time you were outside? ]: Yesterday wif Danny and some fwends
[ last time you had a snowball fight? ]: When I visited the US kinda sorta on December...
[ last time you were listening to music? ]: Two days ago o_o;;
OTHER
[ how many pplsz are on your buddylist? ]: *shrug* unno
[ what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain? ]: emotional .______________.
[ have you felt this recently? ]: Two nights ago...
[ what do you wear to bed? ]: Just my boxxorz >W>
[ when's the last time you slept with a stuffed animal? ]: Last night xD
[ have you ever played ouija board? ]: *curls up in a ball* nuuu creepy ;_____;
[ how many rings before you pick up the phone? ]: three xD
[ how many schools have you gone to? ]: 2... and a KinderGarden
Thats all??
NO SEX QUESTIONS???
GIMME BACK MY MONEY
lol thats all for now :3 If you didnt enjoy reading, I couldnt fucking care less <33
- Mood:
loved
I wish you were there for me
you were here to hold me
when I cant breath
And sometimes
I wish I could mute
The yelling downstairs
I cant take it anymore
I just dont wanna be alone
I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel
but my wounds still bleed...
And sometimes
I wish the lies would stop
All the angels would come
and take this pain away
But then I
realize
that all the angels are gone
And all that
is left for me
in this bleeding world
is you
I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel
I dont want to cry
but tears keep falling
I want to hold you
I want to find you
But my wouds still bleed...
Sometimes
I wish I had
a way to make you smile
And I
pray so you
wont leave me alone
In this world
with no angles left
yelling parents
hungry children and war
My bleeding world
of hungry children and war
I need you so bad
that my ears cant hear
my eyes cant see
my hands cant feel
I dont want to cry
but tears keep falling
I want to hold you
I want to find you
I wanna make you smile
but I cant find a way
Please come and hold me
take this pain away
Because my wounds still bleed
my wounds still bleed
Will you help them heal?
Please help them heal...
This is something extremely personal... it might become a song. Im getting the grip of song writing...god bless my piano lul. I was just feeling like hating everyone at the time, but then I heard Danny's voice and it calmed me down. Nevertheless, when I was feeling better I thought the lyrics had some kind of strenght... so I decided not to shred the paper. Im glad I didnt... well with that IM off. Everyone, have a nice weekend
- Mood:
busy
yesterday Danny and I met for the first time in a month. When she opened the door she just pounced me and we hugged really tight and we got mushy X3 I spend the afternoon at her place and we had funnnn X3 we have a very long walk and sat at her condo's clubhouse and snuggled for a bit and updated eachother.... loool sooo many gossips <333
after mom called me about nine saying that I had to go home cuz of school, we exchanged xmas presents. She gave me an awesome black shirt <3333 and I gave her a plushie and a silver necklace... and some candy I got everyone from the US XDDD I love my shirt. Its so fuken awesome...
and nya X33 on friday Im going to her friend's house to watch a movie... we isa gonna have fun @wo we're gonna watch bratz (dont ask xDD) and a horror movie... and Ima make apple pie for everyone <333 and on the 31st we play again at school... this time in front of the students. Im as excited as Im nervous/scared xDDD
well thats it for now... I dont get on a lot anymore so I just HAD to update this place xDD no one cares tho. But it makes me calm... cuz hard times are comingz, and I have to be prepared for the worst... I un want Sketch to dieee DDDx
Santay, out <3
- Mood:
worried
cuz I mostly talk with Danny when I get on a computer >__> <w< anyway. Im having a lot of fun... I was at Disney for xmas and and and owO;; there were fireworks and shit and it was really awesummmm X333
and since the 28th IM staying.... at the east coast? havent slept at the same place twice.
Well, just at my uncle's the first two nights xD
I've beeen at a couple of places.... and at the moment IM at Pennsilvania
I MAY BE ABLE TO GO TO A HOT TOPIC!!!!!11111 *uberwag* OwO;;;
Danny and I are missing eachother like crazy >.< we've been talking every night for the past three days (when I was at disney I called her cuz I didnt have any way of getting online) and we've been getting verah mushy lul. but this time distance doesnt hurt so much cuz in a few days we'll be together again X3333
Now that I think of... in two days Jacky and I would have met. wow. Its been 8 months since may the 5th o.o
time goes really fast. This was like.... the fastest year ever
cuz a lot of stuff happened.... lemme make a list >x>
2007 STUFF (in chronological order :3)
- Got backstabbed by my best friends and didnt hang out with em no moar >:E
- I met Mateo and we were inseparable :3 (that was on december 2006 tho but who the fuck cares xD)
- Mateo left school in March and I was left alone ;__;
- I found out I had a crush on Tina :3
- My doggy Puffy dies out of a liver infection
- In may I met Jacklynn Gapzcynski and we hooked up a day after meeting
- We buy Pistacho, and soon after that my dad went back home after having his own apartment for 2 years
- In summer vacations I started to feel I was bi >.>
- When we went back to school a new kid came >x> Raul. He's important to the story lol
- Starting October the 14th Jacky and I stopped talking. Anxiety attack for me :3
- Last weekend of october we watch a movie and have some fun. The following weekend we break up
- We agreed to stay as friends.... but I think she blocked me from msn >x>
- In november I join a band Raul created... they were lacking a drummer X3
- I get along with bassist guy and we become best friends :3
- I make a myspace account and I meet Danny over the internet
- I... get out of the closet? lolbbq
- People didnt give a shit tho cuz IM loved at school x3 cept for Mauricio and Pineda fucking assholes >:E
- Tina starts hitting on me... but I refuse cuz even if Im crushing on her, she's the partying type and I un like it >.>
- We get invited to the North Coast to a Battle of the Bands. We get UNinvited cuz we didnt send our demo in time XD
- I find out Danny is friends with Mateo (coincidence? ITS FUCKING FATE LOL) and he helps me out :3
- On December 18th Danny and I start dating, and on the 19th we officially hook up X33
- On the 23rd Ieave to the US... and har I am D:
It was an interesting year lol... lost two important peopleifsocalled to me.... my first mate and my doggy Dx but also good things happened.... band, Pistacho, dad coming back and meeting Danny X333
so only one thing is left to say...
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE!!!!!!!
...hokay the Journal ends up thar 9.9 but now I wanna do a tag I stoleded from Jacklynn :3
1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Got my furst and second mate... kissed someone :3 AND AND AND I unno xD joined a band O-o Im so not interesting lol
2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didnt make any years resolutions that I can remember... but my resolutions for this year are to become a better drummer and a better mate X33
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
A computers teacher o.o
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Puffy ;___;
5. What countries did you visit?
Just the US
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Someone to hug me when IM sad.... and to kisss me when IM happy. Ugh IM so mushy <3
7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
My first kiss. It was so fucking magical. It was on a bridge at her condo place under the moonlight with all the Christmas lights... and it was like a movie lol. X333 squee after that we hooked up. We're so amazing duuuuuuude
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I became more social... and I also learned to treat women thanks to Jacky O: but the best thing of all was being able to meet Danny X3
9. What was your biggest failure?
>.> I didnt get to meet Jacklynn
and we got Uninvited to the Battle of the Bands DDx
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Do my braces count lol
11. What was the best thing you bought?
IM GETTING MY DRUMKIT TOMORROW LOLBBQ
and I bought a Make your own Lightsaber kit at Disney X33
but the best thing was probably my DS and the R4 :3
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Jose who is or was a huge homophobe decided to stay in the band cuz we were great friends before he found out I was bi
Maybe its cuz Im not THAT girly...
>w>
<w<
...or maybe its cuz I told him he wasnt my type :3
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Jacky was WAY too unstable... and it made me sad >.>
14. Where did most of your money go?
it all got saved up for my drumkit tomorrow oxO;;
the DS/R4 broke me at the beggining of the year tho xDD
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
THE BANDDDD <3333333 its a dream come true
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
...
Smother me by the Used.
I... cant listen to it anymore lol. I erased it from all my playlists >__>
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? happier lol a lot more
thinner or fatter? prolly fatter xDD
richer or poorer? ...richer lol
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
maybe partying at a time... but dont regret it anymore lol. Its just not my thing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I was for too long in front of a computer... it became an addiction. After Jacky broke up with me, that stopped tho, so IM spending moar time wif my friends as of now :3
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I was at Disney X333 it was SO epic with the fireworks and shit. I regret not being with Danny tho >.< maybe next year... cuz IM willing to make this last a year or more :3
21. How will you be spending New Year's Eve?
I chatted with Danny al night and had a toast (spelling?) wif her (over the internets) and my family and we watched the Time Square ball thing X3... champaigne was really good.... and my dad and uncle got drunk and I poked them to tease :3 then we listened to music till 2 am and we went to bed x3
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
With Jacklynn Gapzcynski (sp? xDD) and I think IM starting to fall in l Danny, but IM being kinda cautious >.>;;
23. How many one-night stands?
*coughcough* virgin *coughcough*
24. What was your favorite TV program?
House / Law and Order / Im starting to watch Spongebob a lot... thanks to Danny xD
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Mauricio 'n Pineda >:E
26. What was the best book you read?
Im still reading Love Walked In and out of the books I read its the one I like the most... it cool. They fall in love, the guy dies horribly and she's left with a child from his previous marriage :3
...he died by the time Jacky and I broke up. THat book's my anti-drug >x>
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
The Used thanks to Jacky and Ashley... and Weezer thanks to bassist guy :3
28. What did you want and get?
A girlfriend who would love me back... I got two of em X3
and the drumkit lol which IM getting tomorrow :3
29. What did you want and not get?
I didnt meet up with Jacky... but thats about it. I pretty much got everything I wanted... ugh IM such a spoiled child wannabe <33
30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Surfs Up, Silent Hill and I dont think I watched a lot of movies this year XDD
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was at hospital all day cuz I fainted because of my hypoglicemia in the morning 83
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
WHY DID THE BATTLE OF THE BANDS AND THE MCR CONCERT HAVE TO GET CANCELLED?!?!?\
WHY GOD WHY IM NOT DONE WITH YOU BITCH *TOSSES TABLE*
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
moar black lol. And I started using Jackets... a lot :3 thats about it
34. What kept you sane?
Music
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
OwO Gerard way...
and the guy from 30 Seconds to Mars... unno his name. But ugh his hair is gasmic <3333 Ima dye it like that when I go back home
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
I couldnt care less about politics lol
37. Who did you miss?
Mah Bunny ... and Danny as of now, like crazy ;_; cant wait to see her again...
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Bassist guy, Raul... and Danny X33
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
Dont give out your heart to anyone... cuz they might break it and then step on it :3
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Shrink the World - Yellowcard
If I could then
I'd shrink the world tonight
So that I would find you and me inside
Of the last good scene
A film that changes things
Breaks us, makes us sing
Leaves us wondering
kk lol thats about it... I'll post again when I get abck home... or maybe to post some pics of the drumkit when I get it X3
until then, cya guys later :3
- Mood: excited
Mwahaha. It was so magical and epic lol. We cuddled there 'til it got too cold outside so we went back to her place and watched some tv with her mom. At about 11 dad picked me up. The next day I invited her to my place and we hanged out there for a while... snuggling in the couch while we watched Dr. House :3 and yesterday we spent the day with Karen and Mr Bassist playing Mario Kart and Mario Party X3 I lost tho lol
Yesterday we were talking on the phone... and I unno. I said I love you... in english XDD unno why. And to my surprise she said I love you too, also in english... and she squeed. And I giggled X3 I luff her so much. She's totally like me. She's all cute and tomboyish... and she makes me feel really special...
We're both really sad about me leaving today... we're having our Christmas lunch together today at an Italian place I love and we're exchanging presents when I come back. And I start thinking. Its Bunny's fault I have to leave to the US for so long lol. Unno. Ever since we broke up, things have been looking up to me... I found really good friends, I made my dream of being in a band come true and I found someone who loves me back... it was hard back then, but now I kinda feel grateful about her letting me go...
I really love Daniela but Im still kinda keeping a little distance. Because After shit happened I learned that you cant give your heart out freely. I enjoy her company and have a really good time with her. She lets me love her and loves me in exchange. But I havent deeply fallen in love as I did with Jacklynn and I dont intend to. I dont want to be hurt again... but I want this to last, because shes just. So damn perfect hehe. Im happy... Right now everything in my life is as perfect as it could get...
One hour left for lunch. I should go get ready... so cya all next year X3
- Mood: loved
Cuz we were both wearing our emo outfit :3 all black n shit x3 and then we went to the movie cuz we were lateeee DDDx but we got there just in time. We watched Bee Movie :3 and about half of the movie we started getting really close and poking eachother rubbing arms lol and we ended up holding hands.... and when we did we almost spilled all of the popcorn and we lol'ed X333 It felt like. Unno. I held her hand really tightly and she held mine... and I felt so happy. Like... I never thought I would be able to feel like that again....
after that, we realized we forgot about the popcorn lol... so when the movie was over we just sat outside talking and eating popcorn. And we talked for about two hours lol... I laughed so much at stuff... then we walked to her place and I stayed there for a bit. We layed on her bed watching TV for a while and lol'ing at a teen sex book her grampa gave her till my dad had to pick me up :3
Tomorrow Im going to her place for an Xmas thingy. I unno. I haven't stopped thinking about her. About how bad I wanna feel her fingers entwining with mine... how bad I wanna tuck her into my chest and hold her forever... It really does feel better in real life than when you type it...
ugh shit. I dont wanna fall in love again lol... I wonder what will happen next x3
- Mood: accomplished
I was like o.O okay :3 so I told her how about a movie and and then we go to an italians? and she sounded pretty excited lol... and I fucking squeed. And she fucking squeed. I was like o__o she squees lol. Unno... right now I dont have feelings for her... but lets try and see what happens :3
I woke up today at 8 in the morning... had a bath and put on some cute black clothing :3 cuz my emo girl is coming to see us play xmas carrols at the mall >w< I dont think Melo will be coming... I think she's mad at me and I unno why. Maybe its cuz I've spent too much time hangin out with my emo girl... unno. If she's the jealous type, she can rot ^w^ but Im actually... kinda excited Daniela is coming to see me play :3 she coming wif Karen thooo DDx I love her but shes just too noisy. And she knows I find it annoying... so she's extra noisy around me xDD she was the wun who told me Daniela had a crush on me >.>;; gossipers <33
yesterday I almost killed my parents D: I was suppossed to drive from my grampa's place... and its like. Tilted. The road lol. And I pushed down the handbreak and the car started rolling forward... downward lol and there was another car and I was like WHAT THE FUCK DADDY HELP LOL cuz I stepped on the break and nothing happened... and it seems that since the car is electronic, the break dies if the car is turned off xDD
unno lol. Im excited about tuesday's date. Cuz she's really funny... and so friggin beautiful lol. I dont get how could she fall for someone as ugly as meeee DDDx but oh well x3 we isa gonna watch the bee movie lawl. I'll keep you tuned about what happens <w<;;...
SANTAY OUT
- Mood: excited
excuse the spanish...
ugh... lastnight I screwed up with her and now I hate myself... why do I have to be so shy... we were like watching this horror movie about dolls ad shit... and everyone in the room was trying to get us together... and we both got angry sooner or later... and like, we were on the floor and they were on the bed and they were pushing us towards eachother wiith their foots... and whispering and shit ES MI IJUEPUTA VIDA MKAY YO VERE SI KIERO O NO ugh I screwed up... I hope shes not mad at me... Karen talked to both of us, and she told me she said the same thing I did. We were ubershy lol... Im not usually like that but when you like someone you just act dumb around them... I hope she gets online today .__.
y la chiva... la ijueputa chiva. ugh. no hice un culo en esa mierda... malparido mateo me dejo botao para tumbarse unas viejas... wice todobn pk igual tiene novia y yo k puedo hacer pero ah k joda... Im not even the flirting type and the fucker was dancing and smoking and having beer after beer... y yo de guevon tome aunke le prometi a mi mama k no y me siento como un pedazo de mierda... but when I got home even after mom noticed, she didnt say anything cuz she just told me I had to live the experience, but knowing me she knew I wouldnt enjoy that ride. And the fucker got the cellnumber from 11 chicks, and I was like dude. They were fucking drunk, ya no van a saber ud kien es al otro dia, retrasado mental.
gonorrea chiva... no vuelvo por alla... I was sitting in the corner of the bus and andres was like dude wtf is wrong, and I told him it wasnt my thing... 'least he got it and sat down with me for a bit and we talked. And mateo made me dance with this chick and I was like fuck you man .__. dont give me your leftover, I fucking have pride >__>;; y hablando de maricadas y yo bailandole como un pendejo menos mal k el ijueputa volvio rapidito a levantarse a la perrita esa...
I unno... movie night was kinda fun even if I got nervous. But ugh the chiva was umm... well it blowed. Im not the partying type, and just.... I hope he never invites me to one of those >__> ever. again.
</rant>
ugh... I want my emo girl har wif me... *hugs stuffed dog toy*
- Mood: irritated
SO FRIGGIN EASY LOL
Physics was really short and chem was simple.... long tho. But Im sure I passed wif a nice grade
But ugh Andres aka Wice aka Bassist is grounded... and Eliana's dad is gonna visit her from tomorrow till january... he lives in the US x.o and she prolly wont be able to go out... meh she has my number so she'll call me if something pops up... at least she fixed internet. We webcammed today lol and it was fun. I still wanted to hang out but meh... I'll have to wait. Im leaving for the US sometime next week anyway so blah xD
Melo isa sickies DDDx she hasnt been online... and Im bored. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day... I have the Philosophy exam and the Spanish wun... and after that we gotta stay at school to practice the xmas carrols for monday till 2:30 when we leave for the recording place at the other side of town to get the demo for the song we isa gonna send to the Battle of the Bands application...
ughhhh too many things to do
I should go study or something
so byebye lol
- Mood: too many stuff to do
The Wall
I fucking dream of performing there someday. When I do, I could die happily. Unless I were still a virgin DD:
Finals start tomorrow. Today Tina, Raul, Mr Bassist, Jose, David and a few more people lol were at my place studying. I think I'll do good at chem, but not at physics DDDx I had a recuperation test toda and it was so hard I just gave up halfway lol. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day... but after that, the upcoming exams are easy. Cept for philosophy, that is.
Im not that concerned tho. Im doing allright so blah. Havent heard from Melissa this week. I wonder if I should call her to see how's she doing. Oh well.
On saturday I went out with mr. bassist and we smoked arabian hash. It tasted funny xDD but it was fun. We had that and some wine :3 3 dollars for a fucking cup DDx and were like dudeeee D: but it tasted like heaven.... he's gonna take apple flavored coal for the next time we go thar :3 but I was like cool, its not tobacco. Or so told me the bastard. It turns out it does have tobacco in it DDDDx its been a while since I smoked lol. I hated it. But I liked this one :3 thanks god its expensive as hell, otherwise I'd be in trouble cuz I loved it xDDD
and ugh I have to practice a lot for monday. Those carrolls are really fucking hard to play. Jose even backed out because its too much for him x.o I have to learn 7 songs in 3 days cuz this week I dont have the time... ugh. Unno
Eliana's internet is being a bitch, so ima try to help her out
cya guys later
- Mood: bored
So I stayed home and I was at hi5, yes? :3 this kinda spanish myspace. And I met this chick and we were on msn till 1 in the morning lol she had to go thooo D: cuz parents were bitching. And shes like so prittay <33 n shit. And she lives just a few blocks away. And shes an antisocial, antiparty, gamer rocker/goth/emo :D SOULMATE I SAY And yesterday I was talking to dad, and it turns out her dad is one of my dad's best friends :D so I invited her to hang out at the mall on the 17th... cuz...
WE'RE
PLAYING
ON THE MALL
ON THE 17th
FUCKING XMAS CARROLS DDDDDDDDx
JAAAAAAAA DDx cuz since we're currently using the school's drumkit to practice every week, we have to follow orders n shit... so they made us play with the school's choir (ew preppy children singing) at the mall on the 17... ugh. Its gonna suck sooooo bad ;___; in any case. I'll prolly invite her to an ice cream or sumthing after that <33 mah Melissaaaaaaa lul WHY DO I FEEL MR BASSIST IS HITTING ON ME?!? I told him like, joking he wasnt my type and he got sad lol. NYA. MELISSA LOL. I WANT MY MELISSA yshd9fu9s8duf0
Im gonna dye my hair next fridaayyyy and prolly cut it a bit :3 Ima dye light strands on the front like my fursona and the rest of it black. Im gonna look so emo D: Ima lurve it loool and when dad buys Vanessa for me (ima get her bloodred mwahahaha I love it. An orgasmic Maxtoneeee <333) Ima look like.... the guy. That guy. I WANNA LOOK LIKE THE GUYYYY the vocalist from 30 secs to mars D: HES SO HAWT n shit so I'll either get a fursona hairdye or a thatguy hairdye (black, red on the tips)
thats all for now kthnx so Ima go hardcore clotheshopping
santi isa happayyyy lol <333
- Mood: crushing
FLYLEAF. WHERE WERE YOU ALL MY LIFE asfkhgijoig;;;
and liek lol unno I had fun. Havent wrote a nice song tho lol... everytime we try, either one of us starts doing something else >___>;; MY SONG LOL. We've got the lyrics. GET THE FUCKING MUSIC LOL I wish I played the guitar. Raul taught me some on friday but its too hard DDx
I would post the lyrics but a little someone would get mad at me X]
HOT PICTURES YESNO
They're from thursday night when we had to play at school for Thanksgiving... there were just like 8 pics, and those two were the only ones I looked allright... the one at the bottom is a pic of the whole band owo we had fuuunnn the video is ready to upload, so I'll post it on youtube when I have some time
Lol. I was all high that night. I was laying on the grass looking up and I was like "Dude. Look at those clouds. Whoooaaaaa. Where are the stars? loooool" and they say that air gets me high xDD Bassist said that when I have pot he HAS to be there to laugh at me >__>;; punched him :]
TINA owO;;
I noticed something. For the last month, she asks me every friday what am I gonna do in the weekend... I have been busy thooo DDDx and I was kinda mad at her bout the bi crap but its settled now. She's been getting all touchy with me >w< so I unno. Next weekend I wont make any plans and I'll ask her out >w>;; But for now I'll get Michi's arttrade done and finish my cheesecake x3
Santiiiii is finally having fun with his life >w<!!
as always, journal is divided. this time its SHOOL, BAND and LOVE life for Santi. Pick which one you wanna read lol
First, school life. As for the bi shit....
Jose apologized to us and went back to the band. We're hanging out a lot again... he gets teased a bit but I dont think he cares much. I'm not being teased a lot either for my surprise... I unno. Most of the people at school have always liked me, and only a few decided to hate me just cuz of my sexuality. Which leads me to think that most of the guys at school are mature enough to be okay with it.
Like lol. Yesterday a guy I've known for my entire life talked to me when I was going to my homeroom in the morning. He was all "lol dude I know this guy, with long hair and kinda skinny that you would totally like" and Im like "god, why havent you introduced him to me yet?" and we were both like laughing and shit xD and he was like "shut up lol, peace out" and I was like o.o;;
I was actually expecting an insult lol. But Im glad I've always been at the same school. People know me enough to give a flying damn about this XD Im getting some hate mail, but I know who is it lol cuz he's the only guy in the whole school who teases me. And I dont care so xD
Oh. Had a pre-SAT test today. I think I did well. I'll post the results when I get em
----------------------------------------
Now, the band
We had our first live performance yesterday. Will upload videos later. During the practices I did terribly. I kept hitting the drums when I wasnt suppossed to, and my solo was taken out from the song... ugh... we practiced for about two hours and I just kept getting more upset, cuz we had to play songs I didnt like in front of all the teachers at school...
The fucking thing is really heavy. My right shoulder has been killing me for a while now so I had to carry one drum at a time with my left hand. The guys helped me out and I managed to walk the bass drum by myself lol. I was kinda nervous cuz I did like shit on the practice and mom was coming to see me...
But I did pretty well. I was surprised and all xD they were like "dude no offense, but we thought you were gonna screw up lol. Keep it up like this" and I had to handshake the whole school staff @___@;; but I still feel Im below the other members' level... my self esteem is dying lol I need to practice somehow...
We're gonna play Wonderwall on the next Flag Rising Ceremony so I hope it goes as well as it did last night
----------------------------------------
As for love life. Ugh.
I wont specify what, but I tild Tina something when I was upset this week. I was talking to her and I unno. I trusted her. But the next day the whole school knew that fact. Maybe she lied and she was the one to spread the rumour, and blamed Jose... ugh... ... to think I had a crush on that chick .___.
On the other hand. Unno. A few months ago I met DyingAngelWolf at DA. And recently I found out she lived like 30 mins away from Orlando, so we were like "hey, lets meet lol" and we were like mkay X3 and started talking lots. And unno, we started to get mushy and shit. And we went into iscribble and drew stuff and we were like squee >w<
And the rest is obvious. We fell in love with eachother and it felt great... while it lasted. She's a lesbian and she lives what.... 6000 miles away fromm me? neither of us wanted an online relationship cuz we know its really hurtful, but she was like unno. Like Jacky... ugh. Just... ugh. I felt great when she told me she loved me... but today she kinda snapped at me...
(04:19 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sowy for earlier
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I was kinda upset lol
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sowyyy
(04:20 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: it's okay
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: yayness
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: my crush calleeeddd
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: she was like
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you busy this weekend
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: and Im all OwO depends
(04:20 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: and shes all
(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you isa gonna help me this weekend with the chem project?
(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: >__>;; and Im all yea Im kinda busy
(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: cuz "helping" is doing it for her .__.
(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: ah
(04:21 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: you might be mah crushhh but I aint your slave
(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:
(04:21 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl
(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: i'm Marinas slave
(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:
(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: lol
(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: she still on?
(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea
(04:22 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: gimme her email owo
(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: we're talking
(04:22 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: no i'm not gunna give it away unless she says okay
(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its on her DA anyway lol
(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl
(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just didnt want to log in xD
(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: she said it's okay
(04:23 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I was gonna add her anyway -3-
(04:23 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: will_oh_wisp@hotmail.com
(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: I thought you didnt like her
(04:24 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I do like her lol but I was being a jealous asshole
(04:24 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: thats the reason I apologized just now lol
(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: lawl
(04:24 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: look i'm really sorry
(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: what did you do o__o
(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: cus i've kinda been leading you on, look I do like you Santi but I could never like you the way I like Marina
(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: i'm sorry
(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I know, I know
(04:25 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: u do?
(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: yes
(04:25 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: but
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: after Jacky dumped me I thought I would never feel that way again
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: but I felt it with you...
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: even if I knew it was gonna end up in nothing
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just made up some false hopes
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its kinda my fault
(04:26 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just...
(04:27 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I just miss so much being told I love you by someone...
(04:28 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: Santi i'm sorry, i'm really sorry but I loved Marina before I met you and I just cant deal with an online relationship
(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I know, I know...
(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: stop rubbing it all over my face lol...
(04:28 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: sorry
(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I told you its okay
(04:28 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: its my fault for being a pathetic idiot
(04:29 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: your not a pathetic idiot
(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: if I werent, I would have understoond things werent gonna go the way I wanted them to
(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I wouldnt have raised false expectations and I wouldnt be hurt
(04:29 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: as I said earlier today
(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: sometimes I just get so mad at myself lol...
(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea I get mad at myself to
(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: I guess it happens to everyone...
(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: yea well look I gotta run some errands with my mom
(04:30 p.m.) Marina's Pretty: I should be back soon
(04:30 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: mkay...
(04:31 p.m.) Marina's Pretty:
(04:31 p.m.) *Oo__...::-^/[5@: bye...
----------------------------------------
So there. Unno... my mood is kinda six feet under...
I think I was an idiot for really believing... ugh nvm... out of all people I had to fall for a lesbian who leaves in florida... why cant I just have a normal fucking life...
ugh...
I miss being told I love you by someone...
I miss having someone to say I love you to...
I miss being needed...
being loved...
ugh... *hugs his stuffed puppy*
I thought I was getting over this...
but now that things are just turning out the way they werent suppossed to...
I'm starting to feel nostalgia...
Longing for the old days...
Im starting to miss my someone..
Im starting to miss my bunny...
- Mood:
hurt
The four of us went to a band practice on saturday. Jose got early to my place, so we took a walk around the condo. And guess what. Natalia was in her place with the door open. And as a good gossiper/stalker, I took a sneak peek. And she was kissing some guy... dunno who. But I got angry and just asked mom to take us to the place already >___>;;
So we went to the practice and we had to wait almost an hour for the guy to show up so we could practice. And I was kinda pissed. Whe we finally got to play, I hit the drums really hard and my drumsticks almost broke apart. But it felt pretty good lol and I kinda let my anger out, so it went fine. After 2 hours, we got some beers and then went to Raul's place to chill out. Then, my shoulders started hurting like a bitch >__>;; unno
cha. Then on sunday the three of us went out cuz Jose was at a farm place... or something. We were going to a little raveish thing, with metal bands... christian metal bands lol. And I fixed my emo hair and Andres made fun of me, the fucker. HAHA >___>;; unno. We waited for t thing to start. And the place was like filled with emos OwO;; but we waited for an hour and it didnt start, so we left to a ocal pizza place for some garlic bread and coke.
And today at school. Somehow everyone knows I'm bi. No one teased me anyway, but I was like >__>;; wtf and oh well. I thought like, someone saw my profile somewhere and just spreaded the gossip. And Jose left the band. Raul also plays the guitar, so it was an affordable loss but still -___-;; I think its cuz me and the bassist are bi and he gets like... intimidated, unno. And he gets teased about being in the band for being a suppossedly "badass kid". And he left the band. He can rot.
I WAS SO ANGRY I DIDNT EVEN SIT WITH HIM FOR LUNCH >:U sat with Raul and Andres intead >___>;; you'll be missing my jokes, asshole
----------------------------------------
Tina sounded pretty upset at school after lunch. She didnt talk much to me even when we were sitting together at chemistry, but I tried to make her feel better somehow... and the chem teacher gave us an assigment so we did it together and she got kinda distracted and everything went fine. Meanwhile, people were whispering about me... and I actually felt kinda important lol. Unno
When I got home, Tina called me. She souded really upset... and she was like apologizing and I think she thought I was mad at her... because she knew I was bi, and ended up saying it by accident in front of her friend (which I hate and is a fucking gossip/prep/bitch *rantrant*) and she called the whole classroom and bah... The point is, Tina felt as if it had been her fault and I was like, "Its okay. You know I love you, and I wouldnt get mad with you because of something this stupid"
In any case, she kinda calmed down. Im glad she did. She said I could count on her for anything, and I told her I knew, because I trusted her. And this is what I found out:
Two weeks ago, Andres suppossedly kissed a guy. Jose made a HUGE, and I mean a HUGE deal about it. So there were some problems in the band before I joined. I kinda joined last week, and Jose wouldnt let Andres alone for a sec without calling him gay. And then I start hanging out with Andres, and here's whats funny. Jose made a gossip about me being bisexual and told his friend, who was with some of the people of our class out of town in a sports tournament. This included Tina. After she found out, she accidentally told Laura (that bitch ugh) and the whore told practically the whole school. Then, Jose found one of my profiles on the internet and was shocked when he got wise the gossip he made up was true. So he decided to leave the band and just told Raul the reason, which lets me think it was prolly because of Andres and me, and now everyone knows about it and my inner emo kid is sprouting. And Jose was one of my best friends. And now Tina is feeling aweful about this.
And so am I
it was a wonderful day. Oh joy...
- Mood: backstabbed
she talked to Jacky and I dont know what did she tell her
neither I care
but Des made Jacky VERY pissed, and she got pissed with me as well
and she said she didnt want to be my friend anymore, which hurt me
Here are out points of view:
DESTINY: She changed and I miss her so much I hate her for not being my friend n shit ;___;
SANTI: She broke up with me, but Im glad we can be friends. Time to move on, people!
So Des was being all clingy and shit
and I started yelling, unno.
I was like SHE CHANGED, BUT WE CHANGED TOO. SO GET OVER IT
and got very upset...
then I called Jacky
I thought she was mad at me. And it turns out she thought I was mad at her
but we talked for a bit and got stuff figured up
and I think she's not pissed at me anymore
or I hope so, because I really want to keep being her friend
but if Destiny wont move on and just gonna make me involved I dont want to have anything to do with her
----------------------------------------
BTW BUNNY
THOSE THIIIIIIIIIINGS AINT MADE TO BE THROWN AT CARS
GIVE EM A PROPER USE GODDAMIT xDDDDDDDD;;
and sorry for the "ex" shit
I promise it wont happen again
----------------------------------------
During the phonecall, Jacky and I got the January visit thing sorted out.
We agreed to wait, so we avoid hurting eachother. So we're probably meeting in summer
I'll meet Michi tho, so I still have a reason to go to the States
Im glad Jacky is doing well. It seems Justin is taking good care of her
at first, when she said that it felt better than me, I felt bad
but I finally get it
its not that she loves him more. But it DOES feel better, cuz he's there for her.
and Im SO glad she found a mate that can be there for her >w< Im looking for someone too Owo
If he makes her cry tho. I'll hit his snout with a newspaper
really hard >___>;;
she says IM a flirt, but IM still too shy to flirt xDD
IM just like >///< would you like to come over to my place and rent a movie or something? >///////////////<
but at least I ask now.
One thing IM very grateful about my previous relationship with Bunny is that she gave me self-confidence
and now I can actually talk to females without being red X33
squeeeeeeeeeee <3333 I'll prolly ask Natalia out again this weekend, so wish me luck >w<
----------------------------------------
We had a band practice today. Jose found a place where we can play as loud as we want
and we can rent a drumkit until Vanessa arrives xDD;; which is monday, I think. We'll prolly practice every reccess after she's har >W<
the practice place was reserved today tho, so we're going tomorrow at 4. Jose had a date, so raul, andres and me went to raul's place to practice a bit
I just sang tho, cuz he had no drums and I was moving my drumsticks around feeling all defeated DDDDDDx
They told me I sing niiiiice X333333 and now Im a lead singer owO;;
SEE JACKY TOLD YOUUUUUUU I have a nice voice -3-
Im lying. I hate my voice lol. Its too... squeaky? I talk like a female XD
anywho. We recorded ourselves singing "girlfriend". Maybe I'll upload it later, if I figure out how to plug my cellphone into my computer
OH. And we finally came up with a name for the band
*deep breath*
SKETCH
Isnt it awesome X33
Andres came up with it
I was thinking of "Sixteen eyed" Because the four of us have glasses XD
but the name is apparently taken lol... shit
thats all for now, I guess X3
Im feeling happy
cuz things are good between jacky and me, and cuz the band thing is finally going well, and cuz IM feeling sappy cuz of natyyyyyyy <3333
squeeeee X333 and I cant wait to meet Michi in decemberrrrr
Im kinda mushy now. I wonder if Naty is home
IMa go check and stalk her -3-
cya guys later, love for all <33333
- Mood: relieved
We're having a practice on friday. Just till 5pm tho, cuz Jose and Andres are going out with their girlfriends. Raul's just left him for another guy (soud familiar lol?) so we're the poor bachelors of the band XDDDDDDDD I unno. Im so glad IM getting to hang out with the peepssssss etc
I met someone awesome. I've known her on DA for a while but finally asked her for her msn. And shes the besttt X333 shes all you would with for in a woman. But shes a lesbian loooool. Besides. I dont even wanna handle a long distance relationship again. But she told me I was attractiva and amn her cuz she made me blush and Im having my revenge >___>;; cuz we're meeting in december X333 she lives close to orlando so she'll come by so we can hang out and go to disney or something. IM so exciteeeeeeeed X333
also, on other news. Im having problems with jacky. she's mad at me because Im refering to her as my ex. And she now thinks IM a jerk. After 6 months, and just now she started to think IM a jerk. I wish I could fix her opinion about me... I still want to be her friend but I unno... IM feeling like she just wants to push me aside, out of her life. And IM very worried about her... she did something very irresponsible. Its not of my bussiness, but I still worry about her...
well I guess thats all for now...
just here
needing someone to hug really bad, excited about the drumkit and worried sick about jacklynn
I hope Im wrong this time but ugh...
- Mood: worried
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